embracing life

I've moved

2009-06-23T20:50:00.000-07:00

I've finally launched my new blog site. It's a work in progress, but I didn't want to wait any longer to tell you about it.

check it out at www.stevedenney.wordpress.com

A Final Word

2009-05-13T22:11:00.000-07:00

This morning I returned from a grueling bike ride, and flipped on the TV for some quality morning programming while I iced and stretched.

The Today Show.

They were doing a story on a group called "The Jesus Trail." Rather than explain it, check out the video then come back.

What stuck out to me as I watched, was not the people following the trail of Jesus, but the comments made at the end of video. Did you catch them? Mr. Weather man said, "I didn't know they had beer in Israel." And Matt said, "That was about the only thing that caught my attention in that story."

Great.

An entire (albeit just 3 minutes) story on Jesus and faith and the follow up response basically wrote it off as an entire waste. There was much more interest in the money story, the fat story and the fashion story...

Our money, bodies and clothing have more mean more than our faith. I wondered how many people resonated with Matt? If you know me, you know that I have given much of my life hoping to change such negative and dismissive responses to faith.

There is work yet to do. So I'll be busy

My final word.
As much as I've tried, I cannot keep this blog alive. So for the next couple of weeks I'll be working, but you won't see me here (though you rarely do anyway). I am going to be working on a few things...hopefully things that will improve my blogging frequency and content. I am going to kill this blog and launch on a new one on 6/1/09, Perez's 7th birthday.

Until then.

Tax Dollars and Asphalt

2009-04-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is tax day (for procrastinators). For some taxes mean money back. For others, it is yet another bill...more money out. Probably more this year than most, it is a reminder to many that they don't have money...for rent, bills or taxes.

I don't get money back. I don't really have to pay much at this time of year either. And I am very grateful that I still have money to pay my bills.

Probably because its tax time, probably because we hear much about money and taxes under this new stimulus package and probably because its just the way I am...

...tax time has got me thinking about how my tax money is used.

I think about this most with regards to my property tax. Our monthly property tax payment compares to what many pay in rent each month...where does that money go? Okay, I am told what its used for, but I rarely get to see what its used for. Like many, I want my money to be put to good use, not wasted...I want to see tangible results.

Finally.

The street in front of our condo, from G to F street, is one of the worse I've ever seen. Part asphalt, part concrete, part nothing (cracks, potholes) and mostly a mess of patches. I've grown used to it, rarely noticing how bad the road really is. Until 2 months ago.

One morning a paving company began ripping up the road, "alright, our street is being repaired...tax dollars at work." Wrong. In what seemed to be a very random (and complete waste) and nonsense project, the contractor chewed up a few parts of the street and repaved them that day. More patches.

A couple of days ago, another contractor showed up and I couldn't help but think of more waste. I just kept thinking, if they're going to fix it at all, fix it right...or just leave it.

Today I have a new street, the entire block. Shiny black, 100% asphalt. New paint stripes. No patches, cracks or potholes. I know it's only a street, but it's beautiful.

At least on the outside.

The new asphalt was laid over the existing street. Nothing was removed, just covered up. Yeah, it looks great, but everything I never liked about my street is still there, I just can't see it.

It might make me feel better for awhile. I might get compliments or come across as having it all together. People may notice me. Some may even want to be like me. But I know what's still there. I know what I'm covering up. I know.

And If I really want to see tangible results, really experience something beautiful, I must be willing to do the hard work, the entire job, of dealing with the issues, not just covering them up. Some day, my street will be repaired again. The contractor will have no choice but to rip the whole thing out. He'll shake his head in disbelief that someone else did a cover up job years earlier...and didn't just take care of it then.

So why wait? Why not just deal with your stuff now? The only way to fix it is to deal with it...no cover ups.

This, on the heals of the Easter story and resurrection, is what the gospel is about. It's not about just looking alive on the outside, it's about new life. New creation. Inside and out. And this is why we need to be encouraged to believe in the resurrection...but believing is not enough. We must also be encouraged to live the resurrection, because it brought forth new creation, new potential, new opportunities to live, not as a bunch of cover ups, but as whole, genuine, followers of the Way.

So would we find the courage to uncover whatever it is that we've been prone to hide for too long. And work through it. Would we learn to see ourselves and each other for who we really are, and find it beautiful. And would we care about the streets we walk each day, not for the condition of the asphalt, but for the people, many too who live in captivity to what they cover up.

Sometimes I get quiet

2009-04-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

It's just how I am, sometimes I get quiet. I don't mean to, I often don't have a good reason, and truthfully, nothing is wrong...I just don't always feel like talking. At least not outloud. And not because I don't have anything nice to say (although much of what I say comes out wrong). My mind is always working, and even in my quietest times, I still hold the most incredible conversations with myself.

I've been quiet lately. Life has been busy and loud, but I've been pretty quiet. Not too many conversations, no writing...little talking. It's just how I am. But something always breaks the silence.

Or two, or three, or four things.

I've really been wanting to talk about the adoption process Madonna has been going through, and the court's recent denial of her request. The process in Malawi is very similar to the process we recently completed in Uganda with Perez. There are many fascinating things to this story, but in the end, I bet the judge changes his mind and Madonna comes home with another child.

I would love to write about maintaining and growing in our faith. I recently had a few short conversations about this, but because I haven't been talking much lately, there is much more to say.

I would like to talk about Easter, but I will direct you to someone elses writing...they could be mine (and if you don't have much more time, spend your time reading from the link before finishing this page).

It would be great to speak about recent trajedies, earthquakes in Italy, shootings in New York, a young girl found dead in a suit case in Tracey...certainly things worthy of conversation...with God.

I'd like to tell you what's going on in my family, our church, our work in Africa and recent trips I will be taking.

But none of these things compelled me to break the silence.

Last night, I curled up on the couch for a moment to watch a bit of the NCAA championship game (hoping for more excitement than the loss handed to our home town Padres just moments earlier). Unfortunately, that would not be the case. Minutes into the game, UNC jumped out in the lead and never looked back. In frustration I spoke (I should have remained quiet), "This game sucks." To which Ali quickly responded, "Perez, don't you ever repeat that." Perez, tuned into lego building had not heard my comment, but Ali made sure he knew I said something "bad."

Perez looked at me with sad eyes for 15 seconds then began. "That's a bad pastor dad. Pastors no say bad things. Pastors love Jesus and don't talk like that." He was on a roll, and I was a bit surprised that he didn't quote Ephesians 4:29, "Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up." But he stopped short of that. He had spoken his mind. Said what needed to be said. He pulled out the "pastor card," used it effectively. And went back to his legos.

That my reading friends, got me thinking. I need to "keep talking." There are things to be said. Good things. Things others speak badly about. Things that others, myself included, keep silent about.

And so it is, after many weeks of silence, I speak again. As my friend Matthew and I were speaking about this morning, sometimes to get out of one situation, you just need to start something else. Sounds simple, but it can be tough as we all know.

One can't always make himself:
Pray if they feel far from God
Exercise if they feel unfit
or speak if they feel quiet

But that is what we (I) need to do. Start talking again. As I write, I wonder if there is something you're pretty sure you need to do, but just haven't gotten around to it. It could be simple, like cleaning your room. It could be relational, like forgiving a friend or fixing dinner for another. It could be faith related, like prayer, or church. It could be anything.

Though I'm only now, right at this moment, practicing what I preach as I break my silence...might I suggest that you do the same and get after whatever it is that is on your heart and mind to do (things I believe are placed there by God).

And if you do something, why don't you drop a comment and tell me about it. It would encourage me as I come out of my silent time.

5 Things I learned from the Tour of California

2009-02-22T20:31:00.001-08:00

Thanks to the Tour of California for a great week of bike racing. I have watched bits and pieces of the race on TV this week and today I gave a few hours of my time waiting to see the worlds best bike racers come to the finish line in person. I don't get too crazy about celebrity sightings, but this event sucked me in. I was able to see Lance Armstrong race. I wandered through the various team tents, getting an up close look at the bikes these guys ride. And I learned a few things along the way (nothing profound, just wanted to write).

So in lame blog fashion, here are 5 things I learned this year from the Tour of California.

#1 I am no pro cyclist. These guys are fast. Really fast. They corner at speeds that I descend. They climb at speeds that I corner. It really isn't fair.

#2 Sometimes even a glimpse is worth it. We arrived 3 hours early and parked about 5 blocks away (better than I expected). The race coordinators planned many things to do to help pass the time, but really, we mostly stood there and waited. And waited. And waited. Which was really all fine by me, I enjoyed the anticipation. And when the racers finally came into sight, rounded the last corner and sprinted the final 200 meters to the finish line, it was a 20 second rush of adrenaline worth every second of the previous 3 hours.

#3 Well, not every second of the previous 3 hours. I learned that participating in these sort of events is much easier without kids. It was hard to take it all in and still keep one eye on the kids. They wandered. They complained. They fought. They were bored. They wanted every single free hand out from every single booth. Yeah, it's easier without kids, but it's great with them.

#4 Perez is a ladies man. This picture earned Perez a free page of Cannondale racing stickers. It didn't make mommy real happy, but you can't blame Perez for his good looks, and you can't credit daddy.

#5 The bigger picture. Californian Levi Leipheimer won his third consective Tour of California. He rides for team Astana, the same team that Lance rides for. In cycling, a team races for one man to win. After many years of success, it was pretty cool watching Lance race all week for Levi to win. Lance had a great race, but winning wasn't the objective. This was Levi's race.

Earlier in the week, Levi had built a commanding lead and was minutes ahead of every rider coming into the finish line...except one. This rider had drafted Levi's rear wheel for many miles, an exceptional advantage. Racers say that drafting conserves %30 of your energy. Typically, racers will share the draft. Not that day. Levi carried the entire load. As they approached the finish, the racer shot out and around Levi and won the stage, uncontested. I was so irritated. The racer celebrated his stage win, but right behind him was Levi, celebrating. Levi didn't win the stage, but his time that day gave him the over all lead (which he held on to to the finish).

A few thoughts on this last idea. Maybe coming in first isn't the determining factor if you are a winner. Maybe it's okay to let other people live some of their life in your draft. Maybe you need to spend a bit of time in someone else's draft (a friend, mentor etc.). Even if the lead out man doesn't ask for it, don't forget to thank the people that help you succeed. And if someone else get's the glory, even if you did all the work...remember...there's a bigger picture.

Would you?

2009-02-17T18:18:00.000-08:00

Would you go to church because a postcard on the message board at Starbucks invited you (for my more semantically minded friends, I know the phrase "go to church" is troublesome, sorry)? What would it have to say? What would it have to look like? What would jump off of the cluttered board, grab your attention and compel you to wake up on Sunday morning to go somewhere where you know no one?

For me, probably nothing would do it. I want to share my life, all of it, in relationship with others. This means my own spiritual pursuit, and what I invite others into as a pastor, finds itself in community (considering the pseudo community starbucks builds, maybe starbucks should place postcards in churches inviting people to meet at their place).

Ironically, I will probably place a postcard letting people know about our church on a message board soon...just because it doesn't work for me doesn't mean it doesn't work.

Unless of course your church card gets covered over by another church card. This afternoon, during a very rare mid-day coffee urge, I found myself scanning the cards on the message board. A low budget but intriguing church card caught my attention. When I moved in to take a closer look, I realized that the card had been placed over a card from another church (a fancy and less intriguing card to me).

Would you? Would you move either of the cards? Would you go to the low budget card church because it finally received some attention over the fancy presentation? Would you go to the fancy card church because you felt sorry for it being covered up? Would you even care? Would you even notice? Would you even go?

I realized right then, San Diego does not really need another church...especially if there is not room on the board for all of us. No, we don't really need another church. What would be really great is if we stopped inviting people to church, and invited people to God.

Don't tell me no

2009-01-30T10:16:00.001-08:00

Heavy rains earlier this year washed out a small portion of my most traveled mountain bike trail through Balboa park, and now it has been banned. Park authorities have considered the dangerous section of the trail off limits until they can repair the 15 foot deep rut.

I don't want to fall into this chasm, but come on, danger is part of mountain biking.

The first attempt at closing the trail was made by placing an A-frame sign on the trail declaring it closed. These signs are simply ignored by bikers, so bike on we did (or, I did).

Next, in addition to the signs, caution tape crossed the trail hoping to slow us bikers down. As we well know, caution tape comes down more easily than it goes up. Bike on.

This week, when I approached the trail (knowing full well that the bikers were now egging on the authority) I had to stop and laugh. In addition to now 4 signs. Caution tape zig zagged across the trail at least 20 times. In between the caution tape, dozens of dead branches had been laid on the trail (the trail could have been repaired with this amount of time and energy).

But bikers cannot be stopped. A new trail is now being forged, bypassing the closed section.

There's always a way. Don't allow obstacles, distractions, caution tape, danger stop you from pressing on. With your passions, dreams, faith..."bike on."

I'll see on the trail

I don't want your job

2009-01-29T08:47:00.000-08:00

With the unemployment rate rising, this may not be the best time to discuss the various jobs we'd rather not have...oh well.

Last night I walked by a salon and witnessed several people getting their feet worked on (not actual picture). What if I was sitting in that chair? Stinky feet? A still healing shattered and bruised big toe nail. Ugh, my feet. I decided right then that I never wanted to work on feet. I add this to never wanting to work in mouths. Not that there's anything wrong with with being a dentist or pedicurist, they are just not jobs that I would want.

And this got me thinking, I wonder what the top 10 most undesirable jobs are? So I'm asking you. What job would you rather not do? To spare my emotions, let's put fundraising church plant pastor at the top, followed by feet workers. What's next?

10. Fundraising Church Plant Pastor
9. Feet Worker
8. ???

New Responsibility

2009-01-21T11:07:00.000-08:00

When a new family finds its way into the Citywalk community (our church), they often want to know what we do with/for kids...their kids. We explain that we love our Citykids and want to help them in every way we can to experience the love of God and follow the way of Jesus. We also say that the starting point for such "spiritual growth" begins in the home. The parents have the greatest responsibility in raising their children...and a responsibility it is!

I now know.

As we waited to board the plane in Africa to return to the US, Pastor Stephen looked me in the eye and charged me with the responsibility of raising Perez in such a manner that he would know and love God...I want to, no, I will honor that.

But its hard.

After getting to and from school. Helping with homework. Taking a bike ride (a spiritual exercise). Having dinner. Cleaning up. Reading a book. A bath...when do I raise Perez spiritually (though one could and should argue that it is taking place in each of these moments), no wonder we arrive at church and hope someone else will do it.

Before Perez entered our life, I would walk several blocks of our city early in the morning and pray. I would pray out loud. I would walk and I would pray out loud and I have seen great things come from this discipline. I now walk more frequently at night, sometimes inviting Perez, though this usually results in walking, praying out loud and carrying the 46 pounder.

Last night.

I invited Perez out with me on my prayer walk. He jumped at the opportunity to go. As usual, I asked if wanted to pray, and he began. "God, I thank you for..." For 3 blocks he prayed, out loud. He thanked God for his teacher, for his friends, for his Ugandan friends, for Ugandan mom and his American mom and dad. He thanked God for nearly all of his American relatives. the thanked God for our church, and many of the people by name...including Bella. He asked God for one more to start coming to our church. Along the way we saw our neighbor, Ali. Perez said hi, then thanked God for Ali. Finally, he said, "I'm finished, now dad pray."

The responsibility of raising our children to know and love God can be a challenge. We may not have time. We may not know what to do. But try. Do something.

A moment like last night was meant for parents and their children to share.

Layers of Improbability

2009-01-20T15:30:00.000-08:00

After the weekends football games, we now know who will play in the Superbowl. Not too many weeks ago, few would have guessed that Arizona would be matched against the Steelers. You may have guessed the Steelers would make it (though doubtful) but it was foolish to think the Arizona Cardinals, even with the "magic" and prayers of quarterback kurt Warner. However improbable, the Cardinals will meet the Steelers in two weeks.

I've griped several times about having to get into my car to go to Home Depot. "Downtown needs a hardware store" is my ongoing cry, though I don't think it will ever get one. This morning, on my bi-ped commute to the bank, just a couple blocks from my house...the improbable, "Ace Hardware opening Spring 2009" jumped off the vinyl sign...as if to say, "Steve, we hear your cry." I was so excited, I called my wife to tell her the good news...she was not as thrilled.

Today Barak Obama was sworn in as America's 44th president, and first, African American president. While many have dreamed of this day, prayed for it, hoped and fought for it...not too long ago this day would be improbable. Still, it has come. I watched the inauguration...it is truly a great day, and I am proud to live in this country and experience what many have hoped for for decades.

Improbability. So what.

I love the underdog story, the achievement of greatness against the odds, the unlikely hero. Regardless of importance, whether a football game, a hardware store or our nation's president, the layers of improbability I have seen overcome today are celebrated.

Not by everyone...today made me angry too. There will always be people who would rather not celebrate. They would rather complain, put down or try to knock back down that which has been overcome.

Just watch, the analysts will rip apart the superbowl contenders over the next 12 days. And what about Ace? As happy as I am about the store, truth is, I've never really liked Ace. They have a lot of great stuff but never anything I need. I'm already predicting my frustration with the store. And the president.

I walked into the coffee shop shortly after the inauguration, and a well known talk show host was on the radio. He had not one good thing to say about the day. He was couldn't stop talking about Obama's stumbling over the Oath. He knocked the speech from every angle. He had nothing positive to say about this, in my opinion, historic and improbable day.

Listen.

Enjoy the Superbowl. The food, parties, people, commercials...simply enjoy it.

To myself. Love that Ace Hardware is taking the risk to open their store...and just blocks from my home.

And to all. Celebrate this day. It's a great day in our nation's history. It's not a perfect day. It won't bring about the change or give the hope that I pray and long for for each of us. It will certainly let some people down. But it's a great day still. And Rick Warren praying wasn't the end of the world. And Obama's speech was great. And the closing prayer was wonderful, and ended with the most memorable words (if my memory still serves me well), "where blacks aren't asked to give back, browns can stick around, yellows will mellow, red man can get ahead man and white embrace what's right." To which I hope and pray, we can all agree, however improbable, and say amen.

My Oven

2009-01-16T10:27:00.000-08:00

In April of 2006 I bought a new oven for our condo. It's a nice oven. Glass top, slide in, convection range. I still remember the pain I felt parting with the money for this food cooker, especially since neither my wife nor I really cook (Ali's cookies are the best I've had though).

About a year after we purchased the oven, it stopped working. The cooktop worked fine, but the oven did not. The temperature control failed, so whenever you turned it on, regardless of what temperature you set, it would continue to heat with no end. Any food placed in the oven would come out raw on the inside and burnt on the outside in just minutes. Rather than fix the oven, I used it as an excuse to go out to eat.

In December I decided it was time to fix the oven. Because I waited so long, it was now out of warranty...argh...so I had to pay. A repair man came out and said the computer had malfunctioned and needed to be replaced.

I called the manufacturer, whining a bit, and they sent me all of the parts I needed for free as a one time show of kindness. The repair man returned, installed the part, and yeah, the oven works again (but don't think I still won't go out to dinner).

Before the repair man left, he asked, "have you had a cockroach problem?" Well we had, about a year ago, we had a major infestation. We had our place sprayed and have had no problem since...thankfully. He went on to explain that the oven's computer was full of cockroach carcasses, and he believed that a cockroach was the reason the oven failed, causing a short somewhere in the system. I hate roaches even more now, how dare them break my new oven.

That's my oven story, just wanted to share it. Oh, and one more thing. I wonder if you have anything in your life, an irritating little bug if you will, that gets into your system, that breaks you down and causes you to really heat up. Just wondering.

Maybe its time to look into it and take of it.

In the mood for controversy

2009-01-13T16:04:00.000-08:00

Not real profound if you ask me...that's what I think each time I drive past this fence. My assumption is that this is was a statement made during the recent prop 8 initiative on the California ballot, but maybe not. And to be sure, one could easily have supported prop 8 and still agree with this statement. Of course love cannot be bound by gender. Nor should it be bound by race, wealth, status (though too often it is) or by people who don't agree on everything.

What do you think?

And as we read, write and interact on this blog in 2009, even when we disagree...well, I hope in the end we're all better for it and can still say that we at least still like each other.

Metaphor

2009-01-07T10:58:00.000-08:00

On the way to school this morning, Perez and I were listening to our favorite morning show on the radio. During our 5 minute commute, we were blessed to hear a song parody from one of the DJ's. He explained how he had come up with a new metaphor for nice looking females...and proceeded to play the song (a stretch) he had written using this new metaphor.

After 30 seconds of torture it ended. "that's the best you could offer," questioned the other DJ's. "A new metaphor to start off 2009, related to beautiful women, and "hot as a furnace" is all you've got?" The metaphor was bad. The song was worse. But it did get me thinking. Thinking about metaphors. Thinking about metaphors and faith. And I began thinking about bad metaphors and faith, and here are a few.

BIBLE

The Bible as Fitness instructor or massage therapist? Is the Bible something to whip you into shape. To help shave off some fat? To help make you look better? Or is it something to help you relax? Ease some pain? Soothe?

CHURCH (as a Sunday morning gathering)

The church as an auditorium or pick up joint? Is Sunday morning a place to see people perform? Hear great music with video, lights, smoke etc? Engage in well polished presentations? Sit comfortably in high quality cushioned seats, being served by volunteers? Or is it a place to find your next fling? The best place to find a good Christian mate? The hippest place in town for Christian singles looking to hook up?

TITHING

Tithing as a sound investment. Do we give our hard earned money to the church...to God, because it makes financial sense? A good tax deduction? On the counsel of our accountant? Because we want to diversify?

CHRISTIANITY

The Christian Faith as a wikepedia article. Is the Christian faith destined to become a relic? Obsolete? A thing future generations only read about on the internet?

I think not.

So we must do better. We must speak of the Bible, church, money, prayer, Jesus and so forth in ways that make sense. Using language that connects. That fits our day. That causes people not only to sit up and take notice, but to get up and get involved. And involved isn't the best word. there is more to what I am saying than just being involved.

And this is why metaphor matters. Why bad metaphors hurt. Why good metaphors help.

Maybe you've experienced the Bible as a fitness instructor or church as a pick up joint or tithing as only an investment...and for that I'm sorry. There is another way.

Will you help me explore i?. Will you share a metaphor for faith? For belief, the way of Jesus, God, church, money, prayer, the Bible? The way you see it. In a way that is helpful to you. So in turn it may be helpful to others.

May the Christian way, be a way that you are compelled to explore, may it fuel your life and may it be something we encourage each other in this year.

Please don't question my radio choices or that I allow a 6 year old to listen, I already know neither are good...but please do share your metaphors.

Looking back in 2010

2009-01-04T21:22:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about my blog recently. Why I do it. Why I don't (by the way, I haven't completely dropped off the blogosphere. I have been writing at www.muwanguzi.blogspot.com the past 2 months). I've been thinking about what purpose my writing serves. Is it valued. Does anyone care.

Well, I care. I really want to write. What I say will determine value and purpose. And it matters, at least to me...so I'm going to do it. Plus, it publishes instantly. No editing. No costs. No publishers. No sales. So write I will.

So this time next year, things will be different. I've had a few failed attempts at blogging with consistency and with content worth anyone's while.

In 12 months, January 2010, I am going to look back at this blog, and it will be full. Full of things that matter, have value, and reflect what I am trying to say and live as a person pursuing a life of God as found in the way of Jesus.

I will write. Will you read?

A final thought on politics

2008-10-30T00:56:00.000-07:00

This will certainly not be my final thought, just my last blog...I think.

I have spent more time thinking about the issues on the ballot, the candidates and their views and the way I will vote more than all my previous voting experiences combined. Like many of you, I feel the outcome of many things this year really matter...my vote matters. So I refuse to go to the polls uninformed and without giving serious consideration, conversation and prayer into the choices that I will make.

I am also feeling a tension this year that I have not felt in the past. Often, at least in my little sphere of the world, if you are a Christian, which I am (though after a group conversation tonight I realized what I mean by this needs more explaining) then your voting choices are quite clear. Not this year. Not for me or countless others that would describe themselves as Christian as I do. We won't vote McCain simply because he is Republican. We won't count out Obama because he is pro-choice. More things matter. Many things matter. People, Christian or not, are being careful, patient, thoughtful and want to make the best choice they can. And we want to have confidence in our choices even though we still have many questions.

Who is better suited to lead our country? Should I vote to protect the slaughtering of animals? Should pregnant teenagers be forced to get consent from their parents before having an abortion. Should homosexual couples be given the right of having the title of "married" to their relationship? And I must confess, that while I hold convictions, these issues are complicated...and when I really stop and think...I often conclude, "I'm not sure," to many of the things I will find on my ballot.

But allow me to say this (as if you could stop me from writing my blog from the privacy of my home office...though a gov't regulation may appear on the 2012 ballot): Regardless of who wins the presidency (does anyone else feel that the entire game is about winning?), whatever happens to the animals, whichever way the vote goes for homosexual marriage and parental consent for teenage abortions...my message will not change.

I will not claim victory for our country (or world for that matter) with either presidential candidate. I will continue to speak of another leader. Allowing homosexual marriage or not will not stop me from my passion for each of us to be whole (I apologize for not explaining this more fully here). And honestly, is a pregnant teenager talking with her parents about abortion really what matters?

If you are not a Christian, I want you to know that many of the things I am puzzled about this year as I take to the polls are due to a failure in the mission and message of the church. We have invested our energies in misguided pursuits that have comprised what I believe to be at the heart of God for his church. Before this sounds too much like religious jargon, let me just say that many of the things challenging me this year don't have to be this way, and it's sad to me that they are. Sad because we've allowed them to get to this point. Sad that now what Christians rally around in candidates and propositions...well I'd better not say.

If you are a Christian, I hope you read the above paragraph. We have work to do. Good work. Fun work. Genuine life as we know it work. So as you take to the polls next week, do so prayerfully, but realize we have work to do regardless and probably indifferent to the outcome of the elections.

I hope you will vote. I hope you will vote as an informed, concerned and thoughtful citizen. And I hope that as you read and consider these words, that you sense my passion for us to live into a hope that will continue to be...no matter how the vote is cast.

Prayer to feed the soul

2008-10-24T11:30:00.000-07:00

talking politics...sort of

2008-10-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

I write this simply because it was on my mind. It's not a candidate endorsement. It's littered with assumptions and leaps and things left unexplained. Still, I know some will read this and say, what?...what is Steve thinking now. But I write anyway because to me, this is interesting.

Some polls have predicted that Obama will win the presidency. So let's assume he wins. Gasp! Let's also assume that we believe this:

It is God who raises up leaders and removes leaders. He gave moses, Joshua, Solomon and others prominence, credibility, and authority in the eyes of the people. For you proof texters, see Exodus 14:31; 19:9; Joshua 3:7; 4:14; 1 Chronicles 29:25

and what about this Proverb:

The King's heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will. 21:1, King James

So give me the idea that God raises up leaders...and leaders for such a time as this (whatever time it might be). Let's also assume that this line of thinking could be applied to the USA presidency (a stretch in my opinion, but deal with it for now).

So let's say Obama does become president and to some degree God raised him up for such a time as this. Why?
Well here's I've been thinking. Some say Obama is a liberal socialist. I don't know anyone who says that and means it in a good way. And what about redistribution of wealth. And how about care for people...all people?

And maybe we don't agree with how Obama wants to go about each of these things and more, but. Here's the but. When I listen to the things that Obama speaks of, much of what he says seems quite similar to the things I speak about. Similar to the things I read in the Scriptures about the Kingdom of God...here, now on earth. Similar to the way I believe we are to live as followers of Jesus (I just experienced a moment of fear, thinking about what some of you are now thinking of me as you read this. So, certainly not everything fits into what I'm saying, and I'm not done writing yet, and I told you at the beginning that there would be leaps, assumptions, things left unexplained...and that I just wanted to share something).

So could it be...assuming that we here in America are living today quite far from God's hope for his people, far from his Kingdom if you will...that God has (assuming he wins) raised up Obama to give us a glimpse, well, a Kingdom model of living?
A glimpse of what it could be like. What a community could look like if we served each other. If we shared our resources. If we looked out for each other. If those that were blessed used what they had to help those that were less fortunate. If, when we saw someone in need, we didn't pass by on the other side of the street or turn our head away, but did what we could to influence the life of another human. And for all of God's creation.

Of course it's not about Obama, but about God. It's not about politics, government or Obama's policies, but about Jesus and his way of life that brings us to God. It's not about being forced to live this way as might be the case under Obama's plans, but by choosing to because we believe its right. And it's about hope, not the hope read about in Obama's book, but about the hope described in God's book. I'm just saying...wondering...could God be helping us to see through this political medium, in some small, warped way, what his Kingdom could look like?

I don't even know how I answer that, but its interesting to me...assumptions, leaps, vague explanations and all.
What do you think?

Endorsements

2008-10-23T17:24:00.000-07:00

I have decided to stay quiet about how I'm voting. I'll be happy to talk theoretically and even share my opinion...but telling people how I'm going to vote doesn't seem wise. This election is "so important" people say, and it is. It is equally polarizing. Consider prop 8. Will I vote to support same sex marriage or not? Well shouldn't that be a no brainer since I'm a Christian and a pastor at that? Well yes and no. And I might just tell you how I'll vote on prop 8 if you ask, but only after some explanation, and certainly not in print.

While I can't come out publicly and say who/what I'm supporting, I can say this. I don't support the way both sides of prop 8 have handled themselves. Nor do I support the way both presidential candidates are concluding their campaigns. And I don't support the arguments and what seems to have become mean spirited fighting between families and friends and neighbors and churches and business people and sign wavers on the street corners and rallys held at big auditoriums over the difference of opinion on all of the issues and candidates.

And I have something else I'd like to say about this election, but I'll do it tomorrow.

Poverty

2008-10-15T10:27:00.000-07:00

I have not published a post for 33 days. Writers block. I have a few half written articles saved as drafts, pobably to remain there forever. And they are good too. Stories of a pigeon flying head on into my large picture window, the danger of dropping kids off for school (it's worse than the airport), something mysterious called "2 reasons," the misery of going to the kitchen for a Pb&J and being out of Jelly and a bike ride I took with a shop owner from New Jersey, a pilot on lay over from Denver and a professional cyclist from Belize here on vacation. I just have not been compelled to write. Until now.

Besides being handed a list of things to write for the new Citywalk website (to launch by year's end) and having just completed an outline for 15 daily blogs about faith on the city steets, today is blog action day...so I join thousands of other bloggers, and write.

This years theme: Poverty.

Last November I was in Uganda for 2 weeks and I saw poverty first hand. Not the kind of poverty we know here...cancelling our cable TV, cutting back on coffee or saying "no" to dessert. People live on $1 a day we're told, truth is they never really see the dollar, they just have in food what would amount to a dollar. I also saw how far just a little money could go. In 3 years time, through the work of the Children's Heritage Foundation, a school and Orphanage have been built and now care for 1000 kids. 4 acres of land, 3 buildings, a coffee farm, chicken farm and banana plantation...all for less than what my friends and I have spent on our downtown San Diego condos. Ugandan ladies now make paper beads and sell them for just a few bucks. The money from these bead necklaces has now bought two motorcycles which are used for a new taxi business. Needs are being met. Good things are happening. But still there is no money. Poverty remains.

While in Uganda last year, I gave a lecture to over 200 community leaders. During that talk, I stated that we too in America experience poverty, it's just of a different nature. The point was never made. I'll explain in a moment.

It was in that moment that poverty could only be dealt with if something tangible was offered. Something helpful. Something that people really needed. And that it came from all of us coming together to give. Not hoping for Government handouts, bailouts or relief efforts, but each of us giving to one another from what we have. Expecting nothing in return other than the hope that poverty can be overcome. This is what blog action day is about...not just writing, but writing so each of will act.

And me too. I too must act. One year later from that first Uganda trip, my wife and I are weeks away from adopting a child from the village of Mukono. We will travel again this November to support the orphanage, help build sustainable programs that result in tangible goods and train others to act too. We are giving from what we have. Doing what I believe to be our part. We have also invested in the lives of many right in our own community too. Every day I drive a Nigerian refugee boy to school. My wife bought his older brother cleats for soccer tryouts. And of course food is often involved.

Another poverty. Though I couldn't make the point with my African friends about our American poverty, I still believe its true. And I'm not talking money, though many these days may argue that a case could be made here too.

Poverty goes beyond an empty wallet. Everyday I speak with people that are empty. They have run out of hope. They have no joy. They are spiritually dry. Passion, dreams, motivation...gone. Poverty.

So while I support childrens heritage foundation with money and time and travel and education, and I send shoe boxes of toys overseas at Christmas with operation Christmas child, and I support Invisible Children and I am getting involved with Kids with Cameras, and I have given money to help people in Burma...I don't have to look that far to see poverty, and to reach out and help. There are hurting, empty people surrounding me. And I cannot overlook them as I cross the borders to help others.

A final word. You have something to offer. You may be compelled as I am to help the hungry and poor overseas. And this work is important. Its of absolute importance. But it is not enough (handouts are never enough, they are mere bandaids, but thats another topic). Be aware of the poverty that surrounds you too. Notice the people you live next to, sit by at work or pass by on the street. Just as my Ugandan friends live on a dollar per day, my guess is that you have a "dollar" for the soul that could help them too.

And as we work together to fight and overcome global poverty. May people be full. May there be money in everyone's wallet. Food in each of our pantries. And would our spirits swell as we come to know what it means to live with hope. May each of us take action.

Second Chances

2008-09-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

Whoo hoo!

Lance Armstrong announced his return to professional cycling this week. Since I probably won't be able to travel to France next July, I'm already making plans to visit Escondido. Lance's first 2009 race will be the AMGEN Tour of California on February 14-22. The race begins in Sacramento and finishes in Escondido. I'll be there.

You don't have to like cycling. You don't have to like Lance. You can be upset that he left his wife. You can be disturbed by his many hollywood romances. You can think his comeback is because of pride or a spotlight fettish. But he is a one man force for good too. He beat cancer and has encouraged 1000's of others to keep fighting too. He got a second chance to compete and he came back even stronger (don't bother bringing up doping you haters). Now he is going to launch a new campaign centered on his cycling comeback and cancer. Another sort of second chance for him, and for us.

For us?

A second chance for us to see the greatest cyclist ride again (or for the first time to those less enthused by spandex clad men on two wheels). Of course I may not have brought this up if it stopped here.

It's more than just a second chance to watch a man compete. It's a second chance for us too. A second chance at whatever it is that you have failed at or given up on. A second chance to wrong a right, offer that apology or receive forgiveness. A second chance to live...live strong. And not just cancer free, but free. Excuse the abrupt transition. The Way of Jesus free. A Way of Grace (another way of saying second chance) and love.

I think Lance's comeback will capture our attention because he is doing what so many of us want to do. To take advantage of a second chance and make the most out of it. I hope you will watch Lance get back on the bike next year. Maybe we'll even see each other in Escondido. But if you decide that cycling isn't your thing, I hope that you will take this come back story of one man, and make it your story.

And when you do, whatever it is...I would love to hear about.

Tacos, Receptions and Calves

2008-09-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

Spend enough time wandering the streets as I do and you too will have strange encounters...or let's just call them memorable comments.

I already wrote about the comment made by the woman who sold me a taco. She was shocked to learn that I was a pastor, because in her words, "you're too handsome to be a pastor."

A couple days later, I witnessed a man stealing a piece of art valued at over $3000 from the art gallery across the street from where I live. After pursuing the man for several blocks on foot while speaking with police dispatch on the phone, he was caught and arrested. I just learned today, thankfully, that the man plead guilty and I would not be needed as a witness in court (I would prefer a burglar not know me, my face or where I live.

I officiated a wedding last Saturday. It was an incredible weekend for many reasons, but one comment in particular...one I hesitate to share, will not soon leave my memory. During the reception, the uncle of the bride told me that the 60 year old lady sitting at his table made the following comment about me..."What about the priest, he's worth sinning for." Feel free to translate at you'd like.

None of these compare with the odd comment last night, made by a complete stranger, a small, middle aged man on a bike in the Chipotle parking lot.

"You have good calves."

What, good calves...I thought it was weird (and it is in case you weren't sure), but he continued.

"Can I compare my calves with yours?"

"I've done calf presses for one year and my calves aren't like yours."

"Do you work out your calves?"

"Do you ever think about your calves?"

"How tall are you?"

"Can we compare our heights?"

"How much do you weigh?"

"Do you ever read?"

"What do you read?"

"Do you ever read religious stuff?"

"I like to give people complements."

Then it struck me. Was this guy going to try and convert me to his religion, by first paying my calves a compliment? Well he never did...I never really gave him a chance. But I have thought about my calves a bit since last night.

So that got me thinking...imagine that.

When you interact with others. When you share your life with friends. When you talk about things that really matter, and things that probably don't. When you get that one chance to really leave an impression.

What do you leave people thinking about? What impression do you make? Will they want to see you again? Will they want to talk more? Will they know you care? When it comes to your faith, do you leave people thinking about God or will they spend more time reflecting on their calves?

Some things make me sick

2008-08-28T11:56:00.001-07:00

This is one of those things.

Sen. John McCain's plane arrived at Lindbergh Field yesterday, ahead of his fundraiser last night (Wednesday) in San Diego. Campaign officials expected the event to attract 1,000 people and raise $1 million.

Guests were charged a minimum of $1,000. Those paying at least $10,000 were invited to a private reception and photo session with McCain.

There is a stonger than ever push by both parties (I know there's more than 2) that the candidates understand and can relate to the common man. The blue collar worker. Those struggling with health care and house payments. And they are both believable when they speak. But.

A private jet with your name on it. Asking people (not the common people) to spend $10,000 for dinner and a photo. Anticipating 1000 people to pool together 1 million dollars. All, in my opinion wasted on speaches, commercials and airplanes...to win my vote. I'm feeling queezy.

I wonder if McCain (and this isn't simply about McCain, or Obama) realized who he was flying over as he landed in San Diego. Hundreds foreclosing on homes. Thousands working hard to make ends meet. Even more not able to make ends meet. People being deported. People being layed off. People struggling on welfare. People needing medical attention but not sure where to go or how to get it. Wait. Of course he realizes, he gets it...they all can relate.

Anyone who flys in a plane with their name on it and expects to raise more money in one night (and not for any "real" need) than most in the city will ever see...this is exactly the kind of person who understands and can relate.

I need some pepto.

Bill's Story

2008-08-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

I met bill several weeks ago in downtown San Diego. He was very thin, involved in economics and "green." We bonded immediately and I took bill with me everywhere. After a few days, I sensed that bill would be better off with someone else, so I passed him on to a friend.

But my friend respectively rejected bill and sent him back. Bill has literally been folded up in my back pocket ever since. I don't know what to do with him. I know it is no longer for me, but my first attempt at giving him away did not work. Not only that, it was given back with specific instructions (of which I can't follow).

It just seems that bill would be better served with someone other than me or my friend. And so goes the story of bill. My hundred dollar bill will remain in my wallet until I feel moved to give it away again...to someone who needs it more than me. And I hope this bill will be passed on. It is my hope that the next recipient of the bill will find someone else who could use it more than themselves. And I hope that we can learn from bill that it really is better to give away than to receive. And that there are many people, people close to us, people we see everyday, that really could use something we have. If not bill, it could be time, a hug, a listening ear, an open mind, acceptance, patience and so on.

And as we learn this. And experience it. And give it. And receive it. May we know that we are finding ourselves in the midst of what it means to follow the way of Jesus. And may that compel us to press on in his way, pursuing all that is good and right. And would this experience and pursuit continue the process of re-defining Christian in a positive way for many.

Other related writing by steve:

generosity in all things

Giving

A pastor's self esteem

2008-08-18T15:17:00.000-07:00

I don't struggle with many (if any) of the more common Monday morning blues that plague many pastors. The mood on Monday is often directly related to the attendance and offering from Sunday. If either attendance or offering is low, then so is the pastor. At least many of them.

Not me. But I do have my Monday issues as a pastor (though these are thoughts for a different blog, let me just mention that I earnestly want God, faith, church etc. to make a meaningful and noticeable difference in people's lives. When it seems that this is not the case, and people are disinterested and unchanged by what I so deeply value and believe in...well this is just unacceptable to me).

This Monday was different. Not because of attendance or offering. Not because of interest, disinterest or meaningful life change. It was different because of one comment.

I purchased a taco for lunch today from my neighborhood taco shop. The owner recalled seeing me at a recent East Village business meeting and asked what business I owned. When I told her I was a pastor, her reply was meaningful and made a noticeable difference in my life.

Her reply. "Pastor? You're not a pastor. You're too handsome to be a pastor."

2008-07-31T15:29:00.000-07:00

I did it!

What, finally write another blog (it's my blog and I can break if I want to)? On one hand yes, write again, but something else too. It is now the final day of July and I have done it. I have lived up to my commitment that I made on July 1st (July 1st is the first day of the second half of the year; the day I renewed my failed new years resolution).

I have not entered a Starbucks for the entire month. I have been coffee free for 30 days. Most research shows that a habit can be broken in 21 days, but I did not want to declare victory until today, day 30...and now I proclaim it loudly, I am no longer addicted to coffee.

No I'm not caffeine free. No this was not just about money. No this was not just about diet. So what is the big deal about going to coffee.

Okay, to be honest, coffee really isn't the issue. Ali and I have had numerous conversations over the past several months (years really) about what it means to really live as Christian. We continually seek to live in a way that best follows the way of Jesus. We made a decision this year to apply this to our time and to our money. Our 2008 objective was to be good stewards of our time and our money from a kingdom perspective. This is a challenging exercise I want to encourage you to try. It requires first considering what a kingdom perspective, way of Jesus life regarding time and money even is, and then putting it into practice. A difficult, counter-cultural, sometimes what may seem to others, foolish approach.

Coffee for me was the easy starting point. $3 on coffee and $2 on the go with pastry, then sitting reading the paper, filling in a crossword or simply staring at the wall did not seem (to me, no judgement here towards others) good stewardship of time or money. Thing is, I have done far better in the past 6 months with things that should be much more difficult; coffee was not the easiest starting point.

What I'm finding is that to consider things (and live them out) in the way of Jesus takes considerable effort. I can give away money. That is easy. I can volunteer some time. No problem. But to re-shape my life and routine (of which include my time and money) around the way of Jesus (as opposed to going on in my own way and just being more generous) requires effort. It takes desire. Patience. Faith. And a get back up and keep following after you've slipped up or been knocked down.

So I'm not just declaring victory over coffee. I'm telling you that I continue to press on in pursuit of following Jesus in all that I am with all that I have. I hope you will too. And that's something worth writing about.

2008-07-09T15:32:00.000-07:00

I noticed this sign on Saturday evening while walking through the city of Santa Fe. It was intriguing enough to warrant a picture so I could share it with you.

Why would this Catholic church only unlock the doors to the bathroom during mass? It seems a sure fire way to welcome distractions and interruptions to their sacred gathering.

I have images of long lines of eager people waiting to go inside...not to meet with God, but to pee.

And then I began thinking. I wonder what other ways the church has locked the door to many peoples most desperated needs. I wonder what processes we have created that don't allow people inside other than on our time. I questioned if there are things that I do that serve more as a distraction to meeting with God than anything else. In that moment, I wanted to know what pictures others were taking of me, my faith, our church and blogging about it all.

And whatever it is people see, or photograph, or hear or blog about, I hope it is positive. Helpful. Unlocked and inclusive. Free. And speaking in to the needs that people really have, in the moment that they have them.

So that got me thinking about you, my (no ownership intended) faithful blog readers...what is your current experience or opinion or feelings about your faith and church?

2008-07-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

3 things I saw

But first let me say, it is now July 7 and I'm still finding success in my first month of the second half of the year resolution.

Last week I saw a man at 7-11 purchase a 99 cent bag of Cheetos...mmm, Cheetos. What I found blog worthy, was his addition of nacho cheese to his Cheetos. That's right, he opened up the bag and placed it under the nacho cheese "thing" and let the cheese fill the bag. Does this sound good to anyone?

Ali and I got to see one of our Nephews this past weekend. Kaleo is Ali's brother Matt's son.

He is an incredible kid and we cherish the brief and rare moments we get to spend with him. Before we moved to San Diego, and before Matt and his family moved to Texas, we all lived in Reno. Baby sitting Kaleo, aka chubba d, was some of favorite times. We used to hold him and tell him how much we loved him...something I got to do again on Saturday.

And I saw a rather large crowd of Santa Fe-ans gather for Ali's grandfather's memorial service. It really was a celebration of life. The thing about funerals, no matter what kind of life you lived, people will find the positives to reflect on. This was not hard to do for the many people gathered. Grandfather had his faults for sure, but he is loved and remembered as a moral person, a generous person, an innovative person, a successful person and someone who inspires others to chase their dreams person.

Cheeto man disgusted me. Kaleo made me happy. But it was seeing the life of grandfather through the eyes and lives of others that captivated me.

On Sunday, Matt (Ali's brother, Kaleo's dad) and I were talking after reflecting on Grandfathers accomplishments. Matt simply said, "it makes me feel like I haven't done anything." To which I replied in my mind, "well what are you waiting for."

Is there something you really want to be about? Something you want to do? Something really worth living for?...that you have yet to begin, or have given up on?

You can tell me about it in the comments here, or you can resolve to get after it. Or maybe do both.

2008-07-01T22:46:00.000-07:00

I'm going to bed, the day is over...and I successfully completed day one of my second half of 2008 re-attempt at a New Year's resolution.

How did you do?

2008-06-30T12:05:00.000-07:00

What are you doing today? Me? I plan on spending as much time as possible in my car talking on my hands not free cell phone before the new cell law takes effect tomorrow. I also plan on getting my earpiece out of the box today and figuring out how it works so I will be ready for tomorrow (though I just learned that San Diego will offer a 30 day grace period, so I'll probably wait a couple more weeks).

Did you know that today is the last day of June. Among other things, that means 2008 is half over. Tomorrow begins the second half of the year. Sort of a second chance at your New Year's resolution, if you made one, remember what it is and have since failed (all true of me).

So I've decided to make July my "try again" month. I've heard it takes about 28 days of consecutive behavior to develop a habit, I'll make it 31. I'm not going to reveal my big habit forming venture, but if I succeed I will throw a celebrative blog party.

So what does the second half of the year have in store for you?

What habits might you want to begin (or end)?

What could you begin today, to help make the second half of the year even better than the first?

Let me know.

2008-06-27T09:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not usually a late adapter. In most things I like to try what's new, explore uncharted territory, be a lab rat...I like change. But when it comes to technology, I often dig my heels in and resist.

I was the last person I know to purchase a cell phone, and I still don't text (and it's never crossed my mind to get an iphone). I use my phone to make and receive calls. Period. I have an ipod but there is currently just 20 songs loaded in it. I don't play video games. Can't make a spreadsheet. Don't instant message. And I have never explored the world of social networking.

Until now.

I am now exist in the realm of Facebook. I've simply come to realize that many of the initiatives that I want to share with the rest of the world wont become known unless I utilize more technology. So I approach Facebook as an asset to share, advance and invite others into causes I believe in.

So to all of you Facebookers, please welcome me into your normal places of existence but also give me grace. I likely will not be the best Facebook friend you have. Besides, if you want to be a friend, call me (don't text) and we can go to the beach (a recent trip I missed out on because I was not on Facebook) or a bike ride, maybe coffee...you know, the sort of things friends do...they get together.

I don't know how often, if ever, I will write on your wall, and don't know if I'll respond if you write on mine (and I don't know if what I just wrote is even possible). I'll make mistakes, update less often than most, and probably won't wow with creativity. But I will utilize the resources I can, in the best way I know how (with the help of others more adapted than me) to share my ambitions with those willing to call me friend.

2008-06-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

I walked into the bank on Friday (yep, occasionally I still go in) to make a withdrawal. After waiting in line for 10 minutes, I was in no mood for small talk when it was finally my turn to approach the counter (oh the drama).

The first words out of the tellers mouth caught me off guard. They woke me up. They took me to another place.

"What a nice watch," she said. "Uhhh...thank you?" was all I could inquisitively muster back.

How could this lady think my watch was nice? I bought in the London airport last year on my way to Africa. It was the cheapest watch I could find. Brand name, Xpose. There is nothing nice about my watch. Except...

Except that everyday that I put this watch on, it reminds me of Perez. When I look at it, it takes me to Africa and our experiences, our friends and our ministry there. My watch doesn't just tell time, it reminds me of a time.

Ironically, my trip into the bank last Friday was to withdrawal some money for the African refugee family we have been helping. It was also the day that a San Diego team of 30 travelled to Uganda, and would arrive that night in Perez's home. Friday was also the morning I talked with Pastor Stephen, from Uganda, for the first time since Easter. We spoke of our coming trip, of the ministry and of Perez.

When the bank teller saw my watch that Friday...she saw Africa...the way I see it.

Today I received some pics from a friend who is with the team of 30 in Uganda right now. No surprise here, all pics are of Perez (thanks Nicole). Can't wait for ya'll to meet him.

2008-06-18T11:51:00.000-07:00

Interruptions Allowed:

One of the 5 values that I (with the help of a few friends) determined would define what a follower of Jesus would look like (the 5 values are the values of Citywalk church) is being someone who allows for interruptions. Of course interruptions occur to most people, most days...they are unavoidable. The email or phone call. The troubled friend. The hurting family member. So how do we respond? How do we respond when things come up in life that require our time or money or our money or whatever it is we can offer to help. Do we look away? Pretend we didn't notice? Think someone else will help? Assume its no big deal?Think we have nothing to offer? Rather not be bothered? Say we don't have time or can't afford the hassle? Or do we allow for it? Welcome it? Embrace it?

You may choose to disagree if you'd like, but living as Christian means we allow for and actively get involved in the unexpected. The Christian is the good Samaritan. Any other response is unchristian.

And I get to practice what I preach (and blog).
Several weeks ago while walking home from my morning prayers, I "bumped" into a woman with her two children, looking lost. I offered some directions, in fact I walked with them for about 30 minutes.

They are Eno, Lubari and Bariza. They are African refugees that have been re-located to San Diego. They are my friends. As we walked together, Eno (the mother) burst into singing and dancing when she learned I was a pastor (her two kids hid their faces embarrassed).

A couple weeks later Eno and her 8 year old, Bariza, came to Citywalk (her older son is living in a teenage home). She was relieved to finally arrive. For the past few weeks she had been asking people to take her to church, but they insisted she go to their church. On that Sunday, Bariza said they would walk and find Citywalk. They did.

We learned that day over lunch, that Eno had nothing but was being assisted by the YMCA and would probably soon have a job. That didn't work out.
Last Friday, Eno and Bariza showed up at Ali's school, asking Ali to help them. Ali re-booked them into the hotel that they had previously been staying in for free, and told her we would figure something out. That evening when Ali finished work, she walked to the hotel, bought them some dinner and learned more about them. She later made it home to tell me we had to do something. And that means we have to.

On Saturday, my brother, his wife and two young children came to San Diego to visit for a few days (the four of them would stay with Ali and me in our two bedroom condo). Saturday was also the day I contacted the African alliance in San Diego to see if they could help us.

It's now Wednesday. My brother and his family have returned to Reno, Eno and Bariza are still staying in our home. On Monday, we dropped off Eno at the African Alliance and took Bariza to Legoland (he got to be a kid for the day and he and my nephew became good buds). Everything about the Alliance was good news that day. They will help with housing, furniture and a job...in due time. I spent the day Tuesday (part of it at the Children's museum with the whole crew) trying to finalize some stuff with the Alliance. They are very encouraged by Eno's English, her motivation and her willingness to chip in (on Monday she cleaned much of our home. She also worked some for the Alliance while waiting for us to pick her up).

So it's Wednesday now (still). This lengthy interruption (although better referred to as a blessing) still hovers. I dropped off Eno and Bariza at the park so I could work some today. And can I say how much I love Bariza. My brother bought him some new shoes after the day at Legoland. He spent the day walking on the heal of his shoes because they were too small, but he never let on. He is no doubt a foretaste from God of what life will be like for Ali and me when we adopt Perez later this year. They will be friends, Bariza and Perez.

Later today I will take Eno to sign the lease for her apartment. They have asked (in addition to feeding, clothing and housing Eno and Bariza) if we were able to pay the first and last for their apartment. Not really, but we will. We hope some others will help us too. She will move in this week and by the grace of God be working next week.

What a privilege to live as Christian. Interruptions are not burdens. They are where God is. They are what all of us need to experience God. To grow spiritually. To know that our faith matters and makes a difference.

What might we most need today? To allow for an interruption. To step into it. And to go where God resides.

2008-06-10T22:52:00.000-07:00

Biking, Dehydration, Uganda and Depression.

Yesterday I snuck out on my mountain bike before an evening meeting to race through the trails of Balboa Park. In my hurries to get out and back, I packed too little water. After 30 minutes, more perspiration was running down my face than there was water left in my bottle.

As is often the case, I thought quite a bit for the rest of the ride.

With sweaty head and dry mouth, I was thinking about a discussion I had with Ali (my wife) while in Uganda last year. We were struck by how little water the people drank. It seemed they would go days (or more) without water. We concluded (quite scientifically) that the people have probably learned to survive with mild dehydration. They've adapted to having little water and function just fine (my guess is that they were equally surprised by how many bottles of water we drank each day). The curious thing, was that they seem to have adapted, few (if any) ever turned down a bottle of water when I offered one. They gladly received and enjoyed what they have learned to live without.

I wonder what we have learned to live with; what have we adapted to accept as our norm (brief pause here for me to stop typing to have a drink)?

Many things I suppose. But one idea would not leave me as I struggled to bike home against the head wind.

Have we learned to live with a mild depression? Nothing that would require an intravenous drip, maybe just a gatorade. Watch people (and yourself) as you go about your next day. What moods, attitudes, emotions, body language and interactions rule the day? What about hopes and dreams? What about Joy? Have we learned to be okay with frowns, frustrations, fizzled dreams, drab days and tension? Perhaps we have, but is that good? No.

I want us to welcome the cup of cold water when offered. Re-hydrate yourself. Or perhaps more accurately, receive the hope and joy found in living water offered by our Lord.

I wish I had packed more water on that bike ride. I wish I had a bottle of water to hand out to every person in need of a drink every day in Uganda (and across the world). And I pray (which is something I finally do when I realize wishing won't get it done) that we refuse to live outside of the joy of following the way of Jesus with other fellow travelers. May we be rid of any form of mild depression. Let's not allow ourselves to function in ways that were never intended, and even if we can cope, are not healthy.

2008-06-10T22:47:00.000-07:00

What really happens here anyway (here being this blog)? Or any blog. What happens? I get to spew out some thoughts in type. You get to read. Ideas are shared. Thinking takes place. Conversations continue. And, I hope, all of this typing, reading, thinking, sharing has results. Results in how we wake up, live, treat each other and so on.

So I blog on. Taking opportunity to share. Hoping that some may read. And in the end we influence each other towards love and good deeds in this world we live in.

2008-06-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

"Surprised by Hope," by N.T. Wright.

Here's the deal. My frustration. Probably the reason for yesterday's blog. I cannot give hope. That may not surprise you, but it does me. I want to live, communicate, teach, etc. this way of faith and life and Christianity that gives hope. But I can't. Well I can live it, communicate it, teach it etc. but that doesn't mean I'm giving it or that people will grab hold of it.

How frustrating it must have been for Jesus.

N.T. Wrights book does not give hope. Obama's book does not give hope. They give something that we can grab onto. And if we simply grab onto a book, or a person, or a leader, or, or, or...our hope will turn to despair before long. Surprised? I didn't think so...we all know this, we just keep falling victim to it.

What would be most surprising, is if we would find and put our hope in something (better said as someone, but that someone, Jesus, is also talking about something) that really could deliver. That would be audacious.

2008-06-04T11:18:00.000-07:00

I love what I do and I have no idea why I wrote this blog:

There are a few jobs I don't want...

Professional Coach
Loan Officer
Politician

Coaches are quickly hired and fired these days. Flip Suanders, coach of the Detroit Pistons was just fired because his team did not advance to the NBA finals. He has been a successful coach, a great coach...but not good enough, so he's gone.

Loan officer. Even if I wanted this job, it would tough to get...it seems most are getting laid off (PC for fired) these days. Any job dependent on people making big financial decisions, especially the purchase of a home, is one I don't want. If people aren't willing to spend, then there is no work to be done.

Politician. The reasons here are many, I'll name just three. Our local elections for mayor and city attorney have been pretty brutal. Why subject yourself to such scrutiny only to lose or to be kicked around if you win. Do these people really make a difference or do they just need a job. Second, these people make promises, many of them, while campaigning. From that moment the promise is made and on, the rest of us challenge whether or not that person is doing what he/she said. It doesn't matter if things change or if we know the whole story or not, politicians are crucified (only metaphorically to all you literalists) for not doing exactly as they say. And finally, why spend so much money and time to convince people you are guy to be subjected to scrutiny, kickings, lies and crucifixion (again, only metaphorically)?

After a moment of gratitude for not having one of these jobs...well you know, I began thinking. I don't have these jobs, but do I work under similar conditions and could be placed in similar "things" (apologies for a weak vocabulary moment).

Pastor.

If I don't perform, making my church (I should be kicked around for each of the previous 3 words) perfect (and for that one too), to the finals if you will...well, then I may be fired.

If people aren't willing to give $, then there's no work to be done (A lie directly from the pit of hell known as capitalism).

And am I required to work the crowd, have my life placed under a microscope, win a popularity contest, convince people I'm the guy, make promises I probably can't keep, and spend big bucks to get people to my rally?

Another moment of gratitude. I'm not that pastor. I'm not in that sort of environment. But. I have felt it. I have friends that have been fired, laid off, forced to perform etc.

Each new coach believes he can turn things around. Loan officers have crafty ways of making things happen that may not seem possible. Politicians offer hope of change.

And I'm a pastor. What's that? What do I do? I'm someone who believes my role will help turn things around. I believe in a God that can do things for people that may not seem possible. I want to give hope. Beyond going to the finals. Beyond buying a home. Beyond universal healthcare. And I hope I'm held to at least the same standard as a coach, loan officer and politician...just don't vote for me or fire me.

2008-06-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

New Look!

I've made some modifications to my blog and I need some help.

I want to re-name "Coffee with Steve." Please submit your ideas in the comment section. A grand prize winner will be selected by Steve (as he sips coffee).

2008-06-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

It's Monday, the day after Sunday. I am feeling the pressure to have something really profound, life changing and original to write about. I don't. I offer a few moments from the past couple days.

Last week I was denied the right to buy a homeless man coffee at Starbucks. Do you remember the story from last year when someone in the drive thru paid for the person behind them...that certainly was not my experience. I apologize to the man, the barista happily accepted my cash for my drink, the man left and I sat down to read my Bible (page marked by a do what's right postcard). It was so wrong.

The Rock n Roll marathon made it's way through downtown San diego on Sunday morning. My condo is in the center of the race course, meaning that by 7:30 am my home is surrounded on all sides by the 20,000 participants. No big deal, right? No, not really...unless you need to drive. It took 20 minutes to find my way out of the dead end at every intersection maze that the marathon created (I was happy not to be speaking on patience that morning at church).

Speaking of church, I really enjoy gathering with our community on Sunday mornings. The service is a small part of what we do and does not define who we are, but it is something that our church gathers for. Sunday morning was a good morning (good for me is defined by the purpose of our gathering, that is that people might connect with God).

Speaking of good mornings. I was on my morning prayer walk this morning and a man picking up trash looked at me (I don't think he noticed that I was talking out loud to myself) and told me to have a good Monday. I liked that. And I have had a good day!

And speaking of talking to myself. Sometimes I wonder if I am writing to myself as I blog. Oh well, at least I think I'm good company.

2008-05-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

In Memory Of:

It was several years ago at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert that I first sensed that one day I would adopt a child. Steven and his wife had recently adopted their first child from China, and they told their story during the concert.

Now, years later, they have adopted 3 children and have established a ministry called, shaohannahshope.org to help financially support others in their adoption pursuit.

Sadly, tragedy struck their family yesterday. At approximately 5pm on the afternoon of Wednesday, May 21st, Maria Sue Chapman, 5 years old and the youngest daughter to Steven and Mary Beth Chapman, was struck in the driveway of the Chapman home in Franklin, TN. Maria was rushed to Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital in Nashville, transported by LifeFlight, but died of her injuries there. Maria is one of the close knit family’s six children and one of their three adopted daughters.

Meet Maria

It was on this same day, yesterday, that Ali and I learned that we indeed can move forward in our adoption of Perez from Uganda. We are thrilled by the news, but I find it ironic that the man who first most influenced me to adopt loses a child the same day I learn that I may gain one.

Today, my thoughts are not on Perez, my heart is grieving for the loss of Maria and the hurt in the Chapman family.

2008-05-21T18:49:00.000-07:00

During a recent coaching session (one time a month I have a one hour phone call with Phil, my church planting coach) I was asked what it was that I invite people to. So that got me thinking on two levels.

First, I am less interested in inviting people to the church. I want to invite people to Jesus. In my experience, we (pastors) have become quite skilled at inviting (getting) people to come to church. What we're not as good at is helping people really experience, know and walk with God after they get there. We can end up with excellence in attendance and struggles at discipleship and life transformation (sorry for the redundancy). So one thing I am working hard at now is inviting people to Jesus first. It is my hope that as people "meet Jesus again for the first time" (a great book I highly recommend) that before too long they (we) will also want to gather in one form or another with other like minded, on the same sort of pursuit type folk...and we'll call it church. In other words, we can invite people to church, then add to that discipleship or we can invite people to Jesus (discipleship) and add to that church. I chose the latter.

The second level (although not really levels at all) has to do with what does it mean to invite people to Jesus...or what are you inviting people to? Or still in other words, if your not inviting people just to church, but to Jesus, what does that mean.

This is of course a loaded and a simple question to respond to. The challenge for me is to speak of it in a simple way. What does it mean to be a Christian? What does it mean to believe in Jesus? What does it mean? How do you do it? and on and on. I think through these things in deep and sometimes too complex ways.

For now, that means I will offer no answer to these questions. But I hope you will think about them more. I will say this. All this coaching and talking and thinking, it has inspired another article I am working on.

It seems that many, if not most people I talk with have questions. These questions so easily become conversations. These conversations sometimes do, but most often do not result in people coming to something (church or Jesus...which is precisely why my coach asked the original question). If they do come, then what about commitment?

So I am working on a writing now...From questions to conversations to coming to committing. I want to explore each of these things and the order of them. I'll post it when I'm done, or point you to whereever it may get published.

2008-05-20T15:40:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one feeling that there is an unusually high number of tragic things happening these days, or do you feel it too?

Yesterday in San Diego an explosion occurred in the mechanical room of the new and still "under construction" Hilton hotel. While the explosion seemed huge (it shook the ground like a small earthquake) thank God that only a small number of people, 14, were injured. While watching this story on the news yesterday, the story was interrupted to report a fatal traffic accident just miles up the road from the hotel, then intterrupted again to report an arrest of a local school teacher caught in sexual misconduct with a student.

Of course this news comes on the heals of watching tornadoes rip through the midwest, earthquakes tearing down China and a cyclone devastating much of Burma (and the list goes on I know).

These sort of things are hard to understand. Why must people suffer? Why do bad things happen? How does God fit into all of this? Truthfully, I don't think I have great answers to these sorts of questions. But I do know my heart hurts when I see and experience trajedy. Further, such things don't cause me to question my faith or God, but compels me to action. I want to help...I pray more.

These things have again reminded me about how much I believe in the do what's right movement (this is more than a plug). We are surrounded by tragedy. Innundated with bad news. See hurt all around. And we could simply sit around and complain. We could talk about all that is going wrong. Or...we could do something. Something right. We could act. Maybe it would make the news. Maybe things could turn around. Hurts healed. Wrongs made right. Bad news turned good. Tragedy being redeemed. That's my hope and prayer.

And along the way, many of my prayers are with and for the people around the world that still hurt.

2008-05-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

Weekend wingdings:

Do you ever wonder what the following week will have in store? I do. It was just 7 days ago that I was speaking with Chantelle, the homeless girl that I have been trying to help. I saw her sitting on the sidewalk, staring at the wall, so I approached her, said hello and struck up a conversation. My assumptions of her were wrong, and I am even more eager now to help her find work (other than stripping) and a place to live (besides the streets).

After that encounter, I wondered what would be next. What would happen this next week, (As I type I am now thinking of the next 7 days).

Recounting the past few days...On Thursday a small group of friends went to Big Bear for a few days of camping. I don't love camping, but I really enjoy the mountains, trees and stars. For many reasons, this was an exceptional trip...but it was especially good for me to explore over 20 miles of trail on my mountain bike. One trail wound its way through a forest that was destroyed by fire last year. It was creepy biking through death. The only sign of life we encountered (besides a few birds and squirrels) were two wolves, probably seeking food in the ravished forest. The wolves looked at us with hungry eyes so we quickly biked on.

On Sunday, we went to our church service. I thought it was a great morning. We left church (of course only to go out to live as the church) and packed in a few events. We attended the grand opening events of the new childrens museum. The event was okay, the museum is great. We walked from the museum to Seaport Village to watch the Red Bull Air Races.

It's hard to predict a crowds reaction. The crowd cheered most loudly, not at the skilled flying through the race course, but at what the pilot would choose to do as he flew out of the course...crazy tricks mostly. The more tricks, the more cheers...if no tricks, boos. One of the biggest reactions from the crowd was credited to a seagull. The bird caught a fish, so we thought, and paraded its catch in front of the large crowd of people. What we all quickly realized was that it was no fish, but a baby duck - the crowd, in unison, let out a loud, ahh.

We left the races and found ourselves sitting with friends at our favorite downtown sports bar for a few minutes, and then back to church (our Sunday night home church). It was a busy and great 7 days.

I woke up this morning surprised to learn that a pipe bomb had been detonated in front of the courthouse just several blocks from my home early Sunday morning. No one was hurt; how could I miss such a serious happening. I just hung up with someone who was laid off from her job, when I asked if she was okay, she simply said everything happens for a reason.

And I believed her. I agreed with her. So I wonder what will happen this week. And for what reason.

2008-05-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

I have taked a reading hiatus from "surprised by hope," this week. I continue to chew on the first 100 pages I have read.

What is the Christian hope? Is it smoke and mirrors or something real? Have we understood correctly what it is we hope for - who we hope in? Have we accurately portrayed this hope, the real hope, to others or do I just try to make people "feel good" in this troublesome life?

These seem to be big questions to me. Good questions. Hard Questions. Actually, they're necessary and easy questions, the answer is what's hard.

Are you (am I) willing to consider such questions? Saying yes means you may come up with a conclusion other than what you've clung to in the past. That scares some people. It excites me.

So I move forward in reading this book (you should read it too), and re-think hope, heaven, resurrection and the mission of the church I'm excited and look forward to being surprised.

Surprised by something real. Meaningful. Biblical. True. Something worth living for.

2008-04-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

You won't always find it in the place you expect.

What are you talking about? Wallet, keys, God (No, I don't think God's an it)
Is this some shameless plug for Citywalks next teaching series, "what are you talking about?" Nope. It's not about my wallet or keys either.

And it's only a little bit about God.

Yesterday morning was one of those Sunday mornings. One of the Sundays that you hear other church planters reminisce about..."remember that one Sunday?" I naively thought I would never have one of those Sundays. But I did.

One of the main reasons we meet on Sundays is to connect with God. Every Sunday you can find these words in our bulletin, The Worship Event is a place of connection – To God, others and purpose in life. May your experience this morning be meaningful as you explore and deepen your connections. This I believe is something that happens, because of God, not because of something we fabricated or manipulated, but the environment we find ourselves in can play a part.

I would be surprised if anyone really connected on Sunday morning... based on the environment. I have a high threshold for distraction, but it can still be reached. And it was. How and I why doesn't really matter (but imagine a constant stream of people walking into the auditorium looking for supplies they had stored there for an event taking place just outside our walls), what matters is that we meet to connect with God, and I couldn't find my keys or wallet anywhere...

By the way, thanks for the reminder that one of our church values is "interruptions allowed."

What really matters is that people are connecting with God, and if it doesn't happen in the pre-determined time and place (the church service) that's okay. I had a remarkable conversation late Saturday night with the homeless lady I am trying to help. I didn't just bump into her by accident...I chased her down. When I found her, she was sitting on the sidewalk, staring at the wall and doodling in a notebook. She had been crying. We talked for nearly half an hour. She didn't want or ask for anything. We were just being friends to each other. God was in that moment.

Later Sunday night, some friends went to another church and said the experience was great. God was in that service for them. Another friend was sharing his story and the meaning for him of God saving him, literally. It was beautiful. God was there. And on Sunday afternoon we (Ali and me) connected with a couple we have not seen for some time (at the same event that was causing me grief just an hour earlier). And it felt like God was there. And, and, and...

Thanks for the reminder, God, that I won't always connect with you where I expect to.

And I don't really hate Sunday mornings...just some of them.

2008-04-24T17:37:00.000-07:00

"Surprised By Hope," by N.T Wright

I am really enjoying this book (although its quite rare that I ever dislike a book). It continues to challenge, and change, and shape, and help and inspire my faith.

The subtitle is, Rethinking heaven, the resurrection and the mission of the church. Not really big or important topics, but they interest me. Ha. As I have worked through the first 100 pages, mostly about the resurrection, I have realized how hard it is going to be to re-trace the pages I have read...so I am going to tease with a few quotes and maybe add a few thoughts of my own. I still believe this is a book worth reading, and if you're an N.T. Wright fan, it is one of his best (and I feel the same even if you're not a fan). So...here we go:

"surface discrepancies do not mean that nothing happened. Indeed, they are a reasonable indicator that something remarkable happened." This is a reference to Easter and the resurrection.

"Jesus ushers in not simply a new religious possiblity, not simply a new ethic or a new way of salvation, but a new creation." Without exploring what this means (the book does), what are the implications. What does it mean to be a new creation? That can be troublesome. You may like the current you. You may think you're beyond repair. You may be intrigued by the concept, but don't know the way forward. You may think new creation is more than you're interested in. At this juncture, "we are the Israelites standing on the shore of the Red Sea. Behind are the forces of skepticism: Pharoahs gang, mocking and shouting that they're coming after us. Ahead is the sea, representing chaos and death, forces that nobody else has ever claimed were beaten." We cannot go back, but how do we move forward? Forward in the way of Jesus, in new creation, Kingdom living...embracing the fullness of what these things mean?

This brings us back to the book title, Surprised by hope. What is our hope? "Hope is what you get when you suddenly realize that a different world view is possible." "In the absence of real hope, all that is left is feelings. Persuasion will not work because we're never going to believe it. What we appear to need, and therefore what people give us, is entertainment." I wonder if we have presented a good, something to live for, kind of hope when we speak of Jesus, and faith and the gospel? And I'm not talking about hope in going to heaven. But something more. I think there is a lot to chew on this paragraphs quote...is there really a different worldview to see things from (we will wrestle with this a bit in our next teaching series, "what are you talking about)? And if that worldview is not realized (meaning absence of real hope), then Jesus and faith and Christianity are things that we will not persuade people into...and we may just resort to entertaining people religiously. Think about all the "Christian" entertainment, from rock concert worship services and big events to TV and radio...we Christians are becoming good at offering entertainment...but are we giving hope?

"there is a clash between a worldview that allows for a God of creation and justice and worldviews that don't." "When something doesn't fit within the paradigm you're working with (this is analagous to the scientific method), one option at least, perhaps when all else is failed, is to change your paradigm." This is where we may be surprised by hope. A change in paradigms. A change in worldview. Moving past a bad or incomplete faith and entertainment to a life giving hope. And this is not a hope of progress, or the hope that Obama speaks of, or the hope that all your dreams will come true. But more on this later.

Something remarkable did happen on that Sunday of resurrection. It changed things. Maybe we don't understand it in all of its entirety. Maybe there are some discrepancies in the story, things we find hard to reconcile. And maybe we need to allow that to be okay, and pause for just a moment and consider our worldview. Because that remarkable happening way back when is able to do something remarkable still today. And I don't want you to miss it.

To be continued...

2008-04-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

Hey, I thought I would get a jump on Monday's blog and share a bit tonight. If you're keeping up with my life, you will know that today was EarthFair in San Diego and I (we) were there. Our Do What's Right movement became a bit more known today as we exposed our idea to the 70,000 plus EarthFair participants.

Our concept, "enough talk about what's wrong...do what's right" was a huge success in my opinion. But it isn't just the concept that made our day so great. We handed out 500 packs of sunscreen (for which people were quite thankful), becuase we thought it was the right thing to do. We gave out at least half of our 500 branded pens. We looked stunning in our custom T-shirts and gave away a few of them too. The biggest hit was asking people to write down what they believe to be right in issues of earth, people and faith, and then stick it to our "right wall." People enthusiastically responded.

It was a great day. Momentum for our Do What's Right campaign and good exposure for our church. There will be more to come, but enjoy these couple pics and check out our site at, http://www.dowhatsright.org/

Kudos to the Citywalk team that went the extra distance to make our efforts at EarthFair worth it. You know who you are. I think its right that we get to share life together and be the church in our community!

2008-04-16T18:44:00.001-07:00

Perspective.

It was a brief encounter, but I may never forget it.
I was standing on the corner of a busy intersection, waiting to cross the street. While waiting, I watched a man roll across the intersection in his wheel chair.

He was an older man, not too old, but a bit older than me I'd guess. He had just one leg, and he used it to push himself backwards through the intersection. As he got closer to me, within feet, I gently smiled. I guessed he was homeless (from the amount of stuff being stored on his wheel chair. I assumed he was poor. And obviously he had just one leg.

When he got close enough, I said hello. He kindly said hello back (At this point, most I encounter would ask for spare change or sort of brush me off).

Then I asked how he was doing (as if I couldn't tell I thought to myself).

Half speaking, half singing, he repeated several times "blessed, I am blessed." And he rolled away.

2008-04-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on Surprised By Hope, by N.T. Wright.

This book is dangerous. Timely. Helpful. And I love it! But let me say, it's not for everyone. It will challenge pre-conceptions and shake up some of your cherished doctrines (though they will be put back together in a way that will give passion to your love for God).

The other day I was challenged by my "church planting coach" to work out what it means to accept Jesus, to be saved, to be (a) Christian. This challenge came from a lengthy conversation we were having where we found many points of aggreement but diverged from time to time as well. He issued the challenge, because it's important to him (and to me) that we know what it is we are asking people to do. What is the gospel Citywalk is preaching/living and how do others enter into it. He knows enough about me that alter calls and 4 spiritual laws don't fit into my way of answering his questions. But he also has never heard me articulate what I do believe.

He also said that many young pastors he works with refuse to clearly describe these issues at all. They just want people to hang out with Jesus. And since my coach is "old" and "old fashion" in their opinion (neither of which are true), they don't respond well to his questions (I often find myself not responding well either, but not on this issue of salvation). So he has challenged me to work this out, in part for me and for the church, but also to help others struggling with similar things. I accept.

That's why this book is so timely. The subtitle reads, Rethinking heaven, the resurrection and the mission of the church. These are a few of the most important issues to consider if I am to personally work through what it means to follow Jesus. You can't rethink your approach to sharing the gospel if you're not willing to rethink some of these things. I think that's why so many are fuzzy on what this entire "become a Christian" thing is all about. Some may continue to cling to tired old theologies and just want fresh ways to refer to them. It may be true though, that our theologies inform our methods...so both must be looked into.

This is also what makes the book dangerous. If you're quite happy with your current beliefs and can effectively share them with others...that means people want to listen, and they are interested and attracted to what you are saying and they want it for them too...then don't read this book. But if you're like me, a bit frusterated and fed up with how people speak of faith, and proclaim to have become Christian but live effectively no different, then you must read this book. But reader beware, if you're not willing to open your mind a bit to things that may at first read seem wrong, then don't read this book.

Here's to a good journey over the next few Thursdays (or Fridays) together. Open your mind. Open the book. Open your wallet (just kidding). And be open to a more Biblical, helpful and dangerous way of trusting and following Jesus.

2008-04-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

Are you ever going to have kids? A question often heard by married couples who have been together longer than 2 years and don't yet have kids.

Answer: I'm not sure if Ali and I will ever have children. But I want all to know that we "have" a kid. Pictured here is Ali and me with our son, Muwanguzi Perez in Uganda. We have been sponsoring Perez for just over a year now and consider him our son. For us, meeting him was comparable to a mother and father holding their newborn for the first time.

Though we are committed to sponsoring Perez from now through college, we have been praying and working towards adopting Perez and bringing him to San Diego to live with us as our son.

This is a bit of an arduous process with a couple of potential obstacles along the way. We would covet your prayers as we move forward in the process. It is our prayer, and quite possible, that Perez could be with us before the end of the year.

I can't wait for you to meet him. I know you're going to love him.

2008-04-08T13:53:00.001-07:00

It's finally here (no, not another blog after weeks of silence). When we last spoke I mentioned my idea of focussing on what's right. I told you that if at least 10 people responded I would write more, well 11 responded so I'm back.

And here's where it's headed. We are taking the, "enough talk about what's wrong...Do what's right" campaign to the world. This concept will be the focus at the Citywalk Church booth at earth fair on April 20. We will encourage people to think and act on things that are going right with the earth, people and faith.

My hope is that this campaign become a movement, encouraging people to think and act first on things that are good and right. Not that we may not still be critical and work together to improve things, but this can be done without first picking out flaws, typos, problems, faults etc. We all can find these things so quickly - may we become just as quick to find what's right.

Perhaps the problems with the earth, people and faith may be resolved by looking first at what's right with them rather than what's wrong.

Check out the new site. Join the movement.

http://www.dowhatsright.org/

2008-03-12T22:32:00.000-07:00

What's right?

I was reminded today from a friend, who overheard a conversation my wife was having with friends the night before, that briefly included the topic of me, of the question I most often ask my wife (I like long, confusing, run-on sentences with lots of commas that need to be justified by paranthetical statements).

Most mornings, I wake up happy. Most mornings, Ali wakes up a bit grumpy. Most morning, I ask Ali "what's wrong." (of course it's nothing, it's just how she wakes up I'm reminded daily)

This reminder from a friend from a conversation he overheard about how I often ask Ali what's wrong...got me thinking.

Why the focus on what's wrong? What do I gain from learning everything that is wrong? Wrong with my wife. Wrong with my friends. Wrong with my job. Wrong with the government. Wrong with an idea.

Instead.

What if we started asking what's right? I think I would prefer hearing all of the good and positive and right things in any given day than all of the bad and negative and wrong things.

So I have a proposal. I propose a "What's right" campaign. Where each of us begin asking what's right instead of what's wrong. Now for those of you who are already thinking of things that are wrong with this idea..."how can we fix people, or things, or ideas if we don't know what's wrong?" I don't know, find a way (maybe determine that fixing things is not always best).

I just want us to give this a try. Focus on what's right, and ask others what's right.

I am only one person pondering this. Some may read and comment on this. It is my hope that many will respond.

So my what's right campaign has a goal. I am looking for 10 comments to this blog. When 10 respond, I will consider my blog right and keep blogging. If and when it reaches 20, I will pursue taking my campaign to the next level...(the democratic convention could use another twist).

So read, write, respond and begin asking, "what's right."

2008-03-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

I had to get a haircut today.

I woke up this morning and didn't like what I saw. Long, graying hair and appearing somewhat feathered is not who I want to be. There is this look that pastors my stereotypical pastor has and I was beginning to fit the type. And it wasn't just the hair.

I went to bed feeling things. Things I don't ever want to feel. I know many pastors who get very depressed Sunday afternoon if they didn't speak well, if attendance was low and if offerings were small. I felt that a little. I had what I thought was a good speaking idea but am not sure if I communicated it well. And 20 in attendance with a whopping $6 offering is sure to be an all time low.

So I had to get a haircut. Break the stereotype. And not just the hair. And I'm not depressed. But if you'd like, please feel free to pray for me and the others of Citywalk, because $25 and 20 minutes and I can change my hair, but other things are not so easy to control.

2008-02-27T22:11:00.000-08:00

But what can we do here locally?

Although we have been back from Africa since late November, Ali and I still think of the people there daily and even more so this week. Pastor Stephen just arrived in San Diego and our fundraiser event is this Saturday. We hope to get many kids sponsored in addition to raising enough money to build a clean water well.

Much of my time for the fundraiser has been spent asking people and businesses for discounts and donations. The rest of my efforts have gone to explaining to people what we're doing with the orphanage in Africa in partnership with the Childrens Heritage Foundation.

The other day when explaining our efforts, a friend responded saying, "I love what you're doing in Africa, but what can we do here locally." In other words, how do we balance being people of service and sacrifice for others over sees and across the street?

This question spawned an ongoing discussion between this man and me, where we hope to create something that will make a contribution for people in need that live in our neighborhood. While this guy and me share no common faith, we share a common value...that we should use what we've been given to make a difference for others who have needs. This seems all to have come about because we travelled several thousand miles to help people. And because we now ask many people to help us to help the people in Africa. And now they're helping and they want to do more, locally.

I'm not sure where this will all lead, but I believe it will make a difference. It will help many. And many others will get on board to join our mission of doing good.

2008-02-25T18:52:00.000-08:00

When people pass...
Last week I attended the memorial service of my wife's grampa. It was a wonderful service and it was good for the family to get together to celebrate grampa's life.

Several people spoke at the service, all recounting the memories of grampa, good and bad. While they shared, my mind wandered a bit. I wonder what people will say about me when I die? Will there be more positive than negative? Will they be honest or will they make things up just to be polite? I wonder what people would say (or do say) about me right now. What does my life stand for? What impression am I leaving on people? What difference am I making?

I want to believe the answers to these questions would be positive, but I don't feel satisfied. There is much good to do in this world, and I don't do enough. Do you?

I want my life to count, all of it. I wonder how much time I waste. Time that could be used in more meaningful and productive ways. I wonder how much money I waste. Money that could really be put to good use. I wonder how many opportunities I pass by each day.

This coming saturday night, I am hosting a fundraiser event for the orphanage that Ali and I work with in Uganda. I am inspired by how much good Pastor Stephen Kibirango does in Uganda, and with so little. He is making a difference. His life matters. People will speak well of him.

I was disgusted yesterday, to learn that over the weekend both democratic candidates raised over 1 million dollars (in just two days). And for what? To get elected. I'm sure they do good, much of it. But so much money just to get votes...it's hard to swallow.

The great thing is...you don't have to go to Africa. You don't have to have a million dollars. You just have to do something with what you do have, where ever you are. And it will matter. Think about it. Act on it. And let's speak well of each others efforts now and when we pass.

2008-02-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

"Do you want a couple bucks for a coffee?"

I was out early this morning, standing on the corner next to Starbucks when this kind man offered to buy me a coffee. I declined. But why the offer. It was early, I was unshaven and had some really great bedhead...but did I look needy or was he just being kind.

It's Ash Wednesday today. The day that we begin to abstain from certain things in preparation for Easter (I know, there's more to it than that).

I really enjoy living in the city. Occasionally it has its downsides (I may never get used to stepping over feces or the ongoing sounds of sirens) but mostly its great. Monday morning I woke up and witnessed a wreck, right in front of my condo (all were okay). Tuesday I woke up and walked directly across the street to vote. Wednesday, Ash Wednesday, I woke up and was offered a coffee by a complete stranger.

But something about living in the city really hurts. I witness so many living life in a direction away from God. It hurts. After declining the coffee, I made my way through the Gaslamp to pray. It was early, but the city was already a buzz...with clean up efforts. Today is not about Ash Wednesday, it is about recovery from Fat Tuesday. And Fat Tuesday means party time downtown. As I walked around, witnessing the frenzy of clean up occuring...you know, making things look right and okay before exposing yourself to the rest of the world, I wasn't thinking about puke piles and street sweepers...I was thinking about people.

People like me and you, who have made a mess of our lives but clean up each morning before we go out so we appear presentable. Maybe it should be okay to step outside every once in awhile and have someone offer you a free cup of coffee...if you know what I mean. Help is okay.

But even more. Many could use a good cleansing. Not a shower. Not biologically. Something more than that. I don't want your life to be a wreck. I don't want your life to be a pile of crap. I don't want your life to be a mess.

Ash Wednesday matters. It has meaning. It is my hope that this first day of the next 40 can begin a clean up effort for you. Not just abstaining from something that inflicts you (like me and coffee). I hope you find yourself longing for something this next month unmatched by any other longing you've experienced. And may you find yourself satisfied. Satisfied by this person we call Jesus and the Way that he invites you into.

2008-01-30T22:04:00.000-08:00

Who you gonna vote for?

Not many have asked me that question, but I've found myself asking others often. Not sure if I'm looking for wisdom in others, new insights or just wanting someone to chose for me. Maybe its none of these things. Maybe all of them. What I do know, like many other Americans, I am much more interested in this election than any other in the past.

As a pastor I'm not supposed to push one candidate over the other...so I won't and I don't think I could at this point anyway. Many of them seem equally good and equally not so good from both parties, or should I say all parties (just in case you're not sure, I don't believe Christianity equals republican).

I am looking forward to more candidates dropping out and nominations being made. I'm done watching people beat up on their own. It will be so much better once they can fight against their enemy. At least this is how it all appears to me. I watched a portion of the republican debate tonight...boring...the best part was Nancy Reagan's glasses (she looked like a movie star). I was actually getting angry...angry at the way Romney would glare at Macain. Angry at how Macain would smirk at Mitt. Angry at how their were 4 candidates on the stage but only two got any real talk time...one almost none at all. Angry that regardless of how much change is discussed, it seems like same old same old to me.

So who are you going to vote for? Let me know would ya? I could use the help.

2008-01-28T09:32:00.000-08:00

The other morning I was walking to Starbucks (yes I still drink the overpriced beverages but I'm nearly cured). The sun had not yet appeared. It was raining. My hood was up and my head was down. Crossing the street I stepped over a dime. It didn't even give me pause. I didn't even consider picking it up. I thought nothing of it (on the other hand I have not been able to stop thinking about it).

Normally I would pick up a coin...
Why didn't I pick it up? Was it not worth enough? Did I not want to stop in the rain? Was I just being kind, allowing someone else to have it? Was I just lazy?

This morning I went to 7-11 to buy some water (I bought smart water cause I have lots of writing to do today). The sun is already up. It is raining. With a pocket full of change, my smart water and I charged out of the store. I didn't want to get too wet and I needed to get to work.

While waiting for the light to turn green, I saw something. Someone. Someone who didn't care to get wet. Someone who would have stopped for that dime. Someone who would have loved my change but didn't ask for it. Someone who would have wanted my water, and wouldn't have cared that it was smart (and probably would have thought it dumb to spend over $1 on it).

This someone, a man, laid down on the sidewalk, in the rain, and slurped the water off the pavement. Some smiled, others laughed. I stood there.

What would you have done. Would you offer a drink? Or would you be lazy, step over what might not seem valuable? Would you offer help or avoid any inconvenience? Would you do something or allow someone else to make a difference?

2008-01-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

Hanging on

I woke up yesterday to find this fellow and his friend swinging from the building across the street from me. I consider it an urban sport, he would probably call it work.

I feel like this guy this week...I'm hanging on, working (for me it's not windows but writing) quite a bit, and there is still much to be done...so blogging has taken a back seat. Hold on with me and I will return next week.

2008-01-11T16:36:00.000-08:00

Thinking Church through Campaigning, Quitting, Winning and Money

I believe it's broken. Broken things need to be thrown away or repaired, I would take either. The process by which we elect our countries president seems absurd to me. Not so much that we all get to vote, but how our vote is fought for.

The candidate with the most money may not necessarily win, but when money runs dry candidates quit. Does anyone else think its disgusting how much money is spent on winning your vote? Do candidates buy their way into the whitehouse? Could it be that the candidate who can produce the biggest show for the longest period of time sway the masses to his/her camp simply by mass marketing?

I believe the candidates really do care about "the issues" but could winning (or not losing) be just as important? The whole thing seems so shallow. The person with the best hair, best eyes, best tour bus, best slogan, best suit, best speech, best smile etc, will make the biggest impression and that person will win...whether the best person for the job or not.

It's sad to me when I hear about a friend considering ending the dream of starting a new church because money was gone (millions are wasted on getting my vote). It's somewhat upsetting while one church considers closing another down the street is spending millions on themselves. Big churches have learned how to campaign if you will, winning over people to join them. You may not think anything wrong with this...but at what cost. Who is winning? Who is quitting? And what has happened with all of the money?

Of course I wouldn't ask a wealthy, leading candidate to fund his competitors campaign...but they are on the same team. And I'm not necessarily suggesting that churches with money should help struggling churches. Use your money as you like. I just wonder what may happen if we all lived with a greater sense of generosity. Where winning/succeeding didn't rule. Where more didn't mean better. Where candidates and churches alike worked together.

It makes sense to me.

2008-01-10T16:14:00.000-08:00

What next? The tension of intentional and organic

I have been thinking much about where the church is headed in the future. I have been thinking about the future of Christianity. I have been wondering what role Citywalk might play. I have been thinking about what my own life may have in it all.

Small things I think about while trying to fall asleep.

Missio Dei, the mission of God, is what we are invited into and welcomed to join. How does one (lacking an appropriate verb here, should it be work, cultivate, advance, grow?) the Kingdom of God...Ultimately Jesus' mission, I suggest. Is it possible, and I think it is, to be about the mission of God, intentionally, but not subject it to pesticides. There is a difference between being a passive onlooker and allowing something to develop organically.

I still think organic is a good word. When I grow to the grocery store, I notice how the organic section is as small as a mustard seed. Most people avoid it, or don't even notice it. It is rarely given a prominent place in the market. You must enter the store intentionally seeking out the organic food. When you seek it out, eventually you will find it. You may not see many others around. It may cost a bit more. You may not see the immediate dietary results you were hoping for.

There may be a way forward for the church, for living Christian...that is organic. Where we don't force things but let them develop. Not passively, sitting on the sideline sort of letting, but intentionally partnering in the Missio Dei without infusing any more pesticides.

One thing that may require immense intentionality, is removing the pesticides that already saturate what currently exists. There are too many programs and ministries and blah, blah, blah that exist that in my courteous, humble perspective have nothing to do with what God is about. There are too many things we are encouraged to do and to avoid in our pursuit of living Christian that, in my gentle and kind opinion, are something quite different than how Jesus lived.

You can judge for yourself what these things may or may not be...as for me, It is my hope that the rest of my life is wrapped up in the missio dei, both the removal of pesticides and intentionally cultivating the fields of the Kingdom.

It's a great time to be alive. Don't you think?

2008-01-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

Because Monday got away...a Tuesday entry.
There is something about the ongoing Britney Spears saga that wont leave me alone. It has become obvious that we cannot leave her alone, her story is told in every media medium I turn to these days. It bothers me that we are so fascinated with one persons life...and how a spiraling towards becoming the next Kurt Cobain or Anna Nicole Smith creates such intrigue in us. Why are we fascinated with watching someone crumble? And what if she is to commit suicide, not a far fetched speculation in my opinion. Would our fascination with her story need to be repented of? Could it be that our fascination, causing viewer ratings to soar and magazine sales to sky rocket...compel such gossip folk to push and expose even further. And could this push drive one person (a one such Ms. Spears) even closer and faster to total destruction? Could our celebrity fascination cause celebrity meltdown? Or at least aid it?

What if your life was so exposed?

While my heart breaks for Britney these days (and I plead with you to pray for her with me), the thing that wont leave me alone is how similar her story is to mine and I suggest yours too. Ours just don't show up on TV.

Think about it.

All of your life being photographed and written about. Drinking a coffee. Gaining 5 pounds. A dating break up. An argument with a friend or sibling or parent or boss. A drive with your child. A vacation. An early morning walk from your home to the curb to pick up the paper or take out the trash.

And not only pictures, but stories...stories of speculation, and lies and sometimes truth. Perhaps for a while I would work very hard to always come across like I had it together. Always looking and acting and performing my best. But after some time, I'm sure I would begin to believe it was not worth it. It would be tiring. It would not be genuine. I hear often today that people long for authenticity and are offended by judgementalism. Maybe it is more accurate to say that I want to be authentic and I don't want to be judged...but you be how you want and I'll probably judge you.

If all of my life were on display for all to see and read about...I would be a wreck too. Truth is, I (we) probably am/are a wreck to some degree and are not willing to expose (and thankful noone is prying) more trajic portions of our life.

Enter God. Enter the church.

So what if we could be exposed? Authentic. And could be certain that we would not be judged. And what it brought was not a path toward destruction that fascinated, but healing and wholeness. It may not make the paparazzi rich, but it would be worth talking about.

2008-01-03T09:55:00.000-08:00

WARNING: If you hold pastors on a lofty pedastal, the following will help to correct your perspective.

I failed today. I already messed up my New Years resolution. Sort of. It was actually one of my goals not my resolution, either way I failed. So just where did this perfect pastor lose his way? I found myself lured back into Starbucks for a morning coffee and pastry. Maybe not so tragic to some, but it is a big deal. That stupid green queen has an attractive pull that I cannot resist. Even as I walked towards the store I found myself saying I shouldn't go in. But I did. As I sit here typing and drinking, I'm wondering why I still sip against my own will. I will regret it soon as my stomach hurts, my hands jitter, and my waiste line grows. And next time I see my online banking I will regret having given the barista my debit card.

Quitting is so hard.

Why did I buy that coffee, go out with that girl, look at that website, say those words, think those thoughts, light up with anger, and so on...

I resonate with the writer of Romans when he asks, "Why do I do the things I don't want to do." There is a gentle line in the wisdom of Proverbs (26:11) that says, "as a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."

I am a fool.

While I was standing in line, against my own will, I began to realize that this was more than just failing at a goal, it actually was going against my resolution. I don't want to spend money on coffee tasting prune juice. It was not good use of my time to stand in line with the 20 others (I actually did count) hoping to find a morning rush of yumminess. And so I resolve again today. No Coffee.

It seems that we often ask big questions about God. You know, like why do bad things happen, but are we willing to ask them of ourselves. Could it be more helpful to ask the questions of ourselves than of God. Why do I do bad things, or passively stand by while they happen. We could ask (and I believe we often do) why is it that God doesn't do the things that I want him to, or we could ask why it is that we don't do the things that God wants us to do. Perhaps if we work on the second part, the first may look different. Perhaps.

I have many ideas why we keep returning to our vomit (and in fear of sounding cliche) I believe that it is precisely at these times that we need to pursue God either individually or better yet, with our faith communities. What is it that I look for in this brew...how could I find that in God? Could it be that God is far more stimulating than a caramel machiatto?

What I am certain of, is that few of us need to be called a fool. I don't need to be told that I failed or that I am wallowing in vomit again. What may be the best theological thought stimulant of this page...we need to be people willing to go into the vomit for the sake of helping each other out, then stand together to help keep each other from returning.

(apologies for oversimplifiying)

2008-01-02T09:40:00.000-08:00

2008
Did you make a New Year's resolution?

I usually don't put much into this annual tradition of setting myself up for failure. I have never kept a resolution I've made nor do I know of anyone who has. What I do hear every year are the stats about how quickly we fail. Some just days, others last weeks and most of us have yielded our resolve after a couple months.

Maybe the reason why I (like many others) fail in our resolutions is because we don't put much into them. To resolve to do something means that you are determined, you mean it, your decision is thought out and has purpose. While poking around an online thesauras I discovered that the word courage is a synonym and half-heart an antonym of the the word resolution. Most years I make a half-hearted effort in my resolutions. This year I will have courage.

Like others, most years I resolve to do things like exercise and lose a couple pounds, read more, watch less TV, keep my house clean...
this year, I am taking a different approach. The other day Ali said to me that she had a feeling that 2008 was going to be a big year for us. What does she mean? I asked her too. She said that it was going to be our best year of marriage, that we would adopt our sponsor child Perez, we would return to Uganda...little things like that. We decided that these things would happen, but would not "just" happen, so we are making some goals. But these goals are not our resolutions.

Our resolution for 2008 is centered around the word stewardship. To be a steward means that we manage or care for something that belongs to someone else. To be a good steward of course means we do this well. What we are resolving to steward well this year, not half-hearted but with determination...and it will take courage (not the kind of courage it takes to ride a bike down a staircase, but the kind it takes to go against the norms). We want to be good stewards with our money and our time.

Even as I type I hear some thinking, not much different than making a budget and using a day timer. But it is, at least for us. We want to think differently about our money and time. Like we're stewards of them both, meaning that they are things that belong to someone else and we're just taking care of them. We want to think about money differently. Use it differently. Give it away differently. Spend differently. It's not just living by a budget but living by a different set of economics. And time too. We want to consider our time differently. How do we use it and spend it and waste it. And how can we give it away so as to make an investment with it. We are resolving, not just making a goal, but determining to work this out in our lives this year. I'm not even sure what it means to succeed. There is no completion date. It may not be measurable. But we believe this to be a resolution of purpose and significance. The only failure would be denying how Ali and I have both sensed this for our lives and not moving forward.

2007-12-17T18:36:00.000-08:00

Parking tickets

I parked my car today in a metered, 15 minute parking area. I fed the meter and ran up to my office to make a couple copies and send a fax hoping of course to return to my car in 14 minutes. I rushed through my tasks and made my back to 6th Ave. but it was too late. I could see the parking cop next to my car, I watched the man write the ticket. I slowed my pace as I approached my car.

The parking tickets in San Diego come with a bright yellow envelope that can be spotted from some distance. My meter was expired, my windshield had no envelope. But I saw the guy…writing a ticket for the car behind me.

Of course this got me thinking, both cars deserved a ticket but only one car received one. Why? Was this fair? Could I be grateful that I was shown mercy (yes)? What would the other person think (though they will never know unless they stumble across this blog and realize that I am referring to 6th Ave between Broadway and E on the East side of the street at about 12:15pm on Monday, December 17, 2007), the officer letting me off but not him?

And as my mind often does this led to thinking about God and me and others. And how God might have a yellow envelope for each of us. But some never receive it. And how it would seem that God shows some mercy and not others. And how those who are shown mercy must be thankful but those who are not must really be upset. And this is why it just seems impossible to believe that God chose us…choosing some to get the ticket and others not. Because God is not a meter cop.

During this Christmas season (and since this is my blog I take the liberty to still use the word Christmas), I have spent much time thinking of the advent, or the coming of Jesus. This coming has something to do with the past the present and the now. I guess what I’m thinking of now, is not how to make perfect sense of God’s mercy towards us, but my response to his arrival…especially in the now. Maybe I don’t so much care about whether or not God chooses us as much as I care about whether or not we choose God.

2007-12-14T11:36:00.000-08:00

3000 copies of a new book were handed out for free by the Barna group, an organization that studies and researches spiritual trends. I don’t read books from the Barna group because they are usually filled with stats and survey practices and quite frankly, are not good reads (although “Revolution” by George Barna was an incredible exception). So I caught myself by surprise when I walked into Borders to purchase the book because I was not one of the first 3000 to request my free copy.
Not surprisingly, it is a more typical Barna book, but I continue to read. I just finished a section that was describing peoples perception of church and it took my mind back to a place where it spends plenty of time…making sense of church.
The emphasis of this section was that people found church to have little meaning. They eloquently stated this with phrases like: out of tune, lacking vitality, insulated from thinking and living in a bubble. These are the perceptions people who are not part of the church have of the church.
What’s sad is since this is the perception of the church, it is also the perception of what it means to be a Christian. It’s what people think of Jesus. It’s no wonder so many people could care less.
What matters? I have a thought. If we are too change these perceptions, we shouldn’t look at changing the church but each of us that are the church must change. If these perceptions are true, then is me who’s out of tune, lacking vitality, insulated from thinking and existing in a bubble…and it’s you too fellow church goer. If these perceptions are to change the bubble must be popped. We must be willing to ask hard questions about God and faith and life and our culture…and we must put forth the work required at answering some of these questions. We must not be boring, but alive and full of life. And we must not just be in tune with our own Christian concerns, but with what is really going on in our world.
But I also want to suggest that these perceptions may also reflect some problems with people that hold them. Maybe we are in tune with what really matters. Maybe people who have sought vitality and life in other places besides God cannot understand how I find life in something different than their pursuits. Perhaps we are thinking and working through hard questions, but are just not given the chance by these perception holders to talk with them. Maybe some have created an anti-God bubble that they exist in, and the fact is is that they are in a bubble too.
Truth is, whether or not I can make sense of any of this, I care deeply about what people are perceiving to be true about God and faith and the church. And the best way to help this perception is for me to work through what it means to be Christian, and live it out the best I possibly can. So maybe I’m not a huge Barna fan, but he has got me thinking again today about things that really matter to me…even if I did have to pay for it.

2007-12-10T15:24:00.000-08:00

MOMENTS

Most of the time I look for moments of meaning and significance. If there is just one or two thought provoking ideas from a book. Or one great song on an album. Or if I meet with God in worship on a Sunday morning even briefly. I don't expect the totallity of each experience to be life changing. A moment is enough for me. And I am thankful for them.

But occassionally enough of these moments pile up on each other over a short period of time, that when I look back at them, life seems exceptionally good.

There was a moment Friday night that I shared with a friend at December nights in Balboa park that I may never forget. Ali and I hosted a home concert on Saturday night with singer/songwriter Kendall Payne. It was simply amazing, all of it, and it perfectly captured what we have had in mind for our house concerts. Sunday morning was "better" than normal in my opinion as our community gathered to worship. Sunday afternoon a few of us hiked a trail near the beach in La Jolla...I don't use this language often, but it was breathtaking (not the cardio), and the conversations even better. Sunday night home church had what I consider many moments that occurred as we talked and prayed. Nature did its business with one of the brightest lightning strikes and loudest thunder claps I have ever heard. These were followed by hail and drenching rain. And a prayer was answered. A very specific prayer. Something that I began praying for a couple weeks ago quite intentionally. I'm not going to say what, but it really meant something to me to witness God in action.

These are just a few of the moments. I enjoy the little things. The brief moments of awe and wonder. But today I am grateful for an extended moment, a 48 hour experience of all things good.

I hope you have life changing moments of meaning and signifcance...I believe you probably do. But as I just experienced, I hope they pile up on each other occasionally for you too.

2007-12-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

Making sense of prayer:

Sorry, I am not going to really make sense of prayer, but someone has been praying for me for 30 years and her prayer is beginning to make sense. Maybe its better to watch prayer work itself out than it is to try to understand prayer.

When I was very young, a lady in our church, Mrs. Carleton, began praying for me. She prays for many people, each of us in the same way. She prays the words of the Psalm number that match your birthday. My birthday is on the 2nd day of the month, so she prays words from Psalm 2 for me. Year after year she has sent me birthday cards reminding me of this, telling me she has been praying and specifically what for. She tells me often that what God puts on her heart through this Psalm for me is that one day I will have ministry influence across the nations. Okay I would say, as a teenager growing up caring mostly for football and girls and trying to live up to as cool as I thought I was.

I never really understood what this prayer meant or would ever mean. Now I see it working itself out.

Citywalk is a church in San Diego. People from all over the world come here, and I talk often with people from far places. It is my hope that Citywalk will influence people from abroad. I just returned from Africa. Yes, I got to ministry across the nations, but it is only the beginning. We are now in the works of starting a microlending partnership, I am working on the early phases of a Christian leadership development school for Ugandan pastors and leaders, from our work while in Africa, we hope to get sponsorships for over 200 children which houses, feeds, educates and gives limited health care (for just $35/month) and we (Ali and me) are now pursuing adopting the boy that we have been sponsoring, Muwanguzi Perez. Who knows where all this may lead one day, but I believe that 30 years of prayer is beginning to make sense.

2007-12-06T10:44:00.000-08:00

How was your trip?

It should be expected that this would be the most common question people would ask me after returning from a 3 week trip to Africa. The trip was amazing, life changing in a sense...both in my life and in the lives of those I worked with in Africa. Only time will tell if the life change will last or if it will subside as I return to my normal life, but it is my hope that some things that influenced will leave me changed forever.

I was asked another question about the trip, I did not expect this one as much but it was profound and forced me to think (and I'm still thinking). I was asked if my views and perspectives of God had changed after seeing so much poverty and suffering and death. The answer is a frusterating yes and no.

It's hard, if not impossible to think of God and how he interacts with humanity outside of what we know. I know American culture and so I mostly think of God from the context of American life. So things like Gods blessing and provision and love for me comes from my understanding of what these things mean to me in my culture. But.

Take me out of my culture and place me in a foreign culture, such as Uganda and I must think differently of God. It's not that God is different, but the lense from which I now think of his love and provision and blessing have changed. What we think of as God's provision in America is quite different than what my friends in Uganda think of. Is God's love different for those in Africa than it is for me in America? Why are people suffering as they are in Africa if God love's them? The thing is, people ask the same question of God from within American culture too it's just that the circumstances (the cultures) are different.

So I cannot think of God through an American mindset while in Africa (though its hard not to and probably not even a good idea to do so while in America). I cannot say God is unfair or unjust because America is wealthy and Africans suffer. In the same way, I cannot return to America and say that we are apathetic towards God (even though I think we are, I just don't want to use African culture to make the point) because we don't sing like Africans do or we don't walk 5 miles to church like Africans do.

Still, something of the way I think of God has changed. It's like I have a new lense or second lense to percieve through. I have the experience of spending time with people who sincerely love and worship God through this other lense. It's helped me to see God more clearly and perhaps more of him. It's helped me to see that there is more to working out what God is like than what is going on in our culture...people all over the world, from many different cultures and circumstances are discussing faith and trust and worship and what it means to live as Christians. So I have a car and live in a city and have a comfortable bed and so on, and others walk and sleep on the floor and live in the slums and so on but at the core of who we are, our existence in the inner self...(quoting Samuel "Screech" Powers) "we are all so different, yet so similar!"

And one more thing. If each of us, every gender and color and nationality and peculiarity are created in the image of God, then the more you share life with others unlike you, the more you will come to understand what God is like.

2007-12-03T18:49:00.000-08:00

I hit my middle finger with a hammer today. Hard! Not that it matters, but it was an accident. It took only seconds from the blood to start flowing from the tip of my finger and just seconds more for me to start hopping around in pain...hopping helps.

Water from the faucet rinsed away the blood as my mind went to work. I was remembering the story I've heard numerous times about the man who knew what his pastor was like on Sunday mornings, what he wanted to know was what his pastor was like when he hit his finger with a hammer. I could hear my dad's version of swear words leaving his mouth if it would have been his finger (ratfink and cockroach). I was thinking about how ridiculous it was that I was thinking about these things as my finger bled.

I stopped thinking and began laughing. I found a bandaid and finished my little project without further incident. I didn't really stop thinking.

I was thinking about my new friends in Africa, Stephen, Gabriel and Girard. Each time something happened that would frustrate me and most of my friends, they laughed. They didn't throw out a swear word. They never once complained. They laughed. They laughed at all 3 flat tires we got on one trip. They laughed when we ran out of gas. They laughed when we ran over someones foot. I did not see the humor that they saw in everything, but I did enjoy the perspective they had. It was so wonderful to hear no complaining or whining. It was so peaceful to have no one get angry. It was fun to laugh.

Many have asked me if our experience in Africa was life changing. I hope so. I hope that I become more like my African friends, and not allow life circumstances to rip off my joy. I hope I can find laughter often. And I hope I don't hit my finger again, but at least it got me thinking.

2007-11-06T23:46:00.000-08:00

We're off!!!
Ali and I leave for Africa in just a few hours. It is unlikely that I will be able to access the internet while gone, so this is the last you'll hear from me for a couple weeks. If you think of it, we would appreciate your prayers for our travels and ministry in Mukono, Uganda. Here is a brief Itinerary just to let you know where we'll be. Write again Soon!

November 7

San Diego to New York to London and arrive in Africa on November 10

November 11

Pastor Steve Denney to preach/deliver sermon at True Vine Pentecostal Church at the school and boarding home

November 12

1000 – 1600 Pastor Steve Denney travels to Kampala and will speak to a group of high-level pastors

0900 Team to begin interviews and photographs of children

1400 – 1600 Ali to meet with teachers from the school to conduct small workshop

November 13

0900 Team to continue with interviews and photographs of children

1000 – 1600 Pastor Steve Denney to meet with a team of “village pastors”

November 14

0930 – 1000 General school gathering and ministering to children from the school

Team to continue interviewing and photographing children

Pastor Steve Denney may meet with another team of pastors

November 15

0900 Travel to Gulu – approx. five hour bus ride

1700 After lunch, we will visit the camp in Gulu

November 16

Meet with the 10 children, take photographs and conduct interviews

Travel back to Mukono

November 18

Sunday church service – Pastor Steve Denney to minister service

November 19

Africa to London to Paris to New York and arrive San Diego November 24

2007-11-05T10:18:00.002-08:00

Sheep and Goats

The reviews are in. Want to know how Citywalk ranks compared to other San Diego churches (according to San Diego Reader journalist Matt Lickona and his article, Sheep and Goats).

Actually, we are not really being compared to other churches but simply being described. The intent of the article is not so much to critique as it is to inform local San Diegans about the many different options there are for church.

The article is well done and fair and we even had a couple first time guests yesterday because of it.
Check it out here for a glimpse into the life of Citywalk.

2007-11-01T12:10:00.000-07:00

Does God still speak? I believe yes. But what is he saying? How do you discern his voice? How can I know that It's just not my own thinking? I'm not sure! And I think most of us have a tendency to complicate this. Some attribute most everything to God, others give him little credit. We seek God's will (voice) on things God may care little about...like careers and colleges to attend and what team to bet for. Because we so actively seek God's voice, we may not be too receptive to listen when we don't seek...God may have things to say to us about things we are not currently considering. And we so often make up our mind on things before ever seeking God, that maybe we seek God for affirmation than we really do for direction. Anyway...

There is this passage in 1 Kings 19 where God is speaking to the prophet Elijah. I think you should read it, 19:10-18. God tells Elijah to go stand on a mountain because the Lord is about to pass by. Of course Elijah went, I wouldn't want to miss that either (but I probably would have missed it because I would have spent too much time trying to figure out if it was God who told me that or not). While Elijah was there on that mountain, there was wind, an earthquake, a fire but no God. Then came this gentle whisper...It was the Lord, and Elijah and the Lord had a conversation.

Maybe one way to get at the voice of God, and help in discerning it is to listen for it in the quiet (a Psalm 46:10 "be still and know I am God" sort of way). It may be harder to hear the voice of God in the chaos, in the turbulent times and when tempers, personalities or issues flare. Elijah was a prophet and he heard the voice of God when things finally calmed down.

I for one believe that God is speaking to people loud and clear these days on very real issues. Social justice, the war, the environment and homosexuality to name a few. It is my belief that the one's that really speak from God, using their prophetic voice over their own conviction or anger or frustration will speak from a similar heart as Elijah. They will be concerned that people have left the ways and heart of God. They will yearn to bring people back to God more than they will want people just to agree with their perspective. They will speak with humble conviction, believing they represent the heart of God and are not just seeking to be right or affirm their positions. And when others knock us down, we will see little reason to defend or argue because we will not take opposition personally.

Revolutions are rarely welcomed with open arms. They can be painful for some and disruptive for most. It is my stance that Jesus came to earth to begin a revolution and as followers we are to join him in this mission. In his tact, and heart, and compassion, and peace-bringing, and love, and honesty, and etc. We are not starting a new revolution or our own revolution (and we must be cautious and exercise wisdom here) but joining Christ in his. Which of course brings us back to the first few questions of this article.

2007-10-31T10:14:00.000-07:00

So what of this "prophetic voice" I speak about?
Last week I wrote about speaking up and letting your voice be heard. But I am speaking of something more than simply sharing your opinions, concerns and passions...I am speaking of something I call the prophetic voice. Not everyone will appreciate this, but they never have.

In the scriptures, we see that priests and prophets were often at odds. Priests focussed on regularity and traditions. They had credentials, upheld order, wore special clothing and gave them selves a "scent of holiness" with perfumed oils. But what happened when the people (the people the priests were leading) began "going through the motions" with spiritual half-heartedness? When their hearts and minds are unengaged? When ritual faithfulness blinded or numbed them to the very real needs that surrounded them and the social injustices that followed? Answer...a prophet would arise. They would speak unashamedly about the disgust God had with external religious observance without sincerity, without compassion for others, without recognizing what God was doing around them and how they should get involved (read Isaiah 1:1-17)

They had no credentials, special clothing or perfume. What they had was a self-authenticating passion and unavoidable moral substance. Often their purpose was to disrupt the status quo, so a prophets life was disturbing, unruly and sometimes shocking (Consider why the prophet Hosea married a prostitute or how the prophet Ezekiel staged a protest in the nude). Of course the priests, the one's to keep order, were not real pleased with these disruptive prophets.

As hard as the priest worked to help people in religion, it was the prophet that helped people really get at the heart of God. It is no different today. We need prophets, people who will use their prophetic voice to help people connect to the heart of God...to follow the way of Jesus...to wake people up to what is going on all around us and what it might be that God (not politics, military, finance etc) might want us to do about.

You don't need credentials, but a passion. As you see what goes on, as you listen to God...respond, speak up, react. Not just because you have an idea. Not because you want to be disruptive. Not just because you're mad. But because God might have something to say through you for others. It may be a new idea. It might be disruptive. It might make others mad. That's nothing new. But if it is from God, a prophetic voice, it needs to be heard.

2007-10-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

WORDS WON'T DO
Some events are tough describe. Words may help others understand, but it's the experience that really impacts. While there are things I would rather read about than personally experience, like the horrific fires that ravaged San Diego last week, most things I would rather experience.

I've tried explaining the wedding that I officiated on Saturday, but each time I try, I fumble around trying to say what I mean. Words don't do. It was great, I wish you could have experienced it with me.

It was Sunday morning that got me thinking about this idea that words won't do. As people began gathering for our worship event, a "new" person walked in. It became quickly evident that this man was a reporter (the notepad, camera and voice recorder gave it away)...yep, Citywalk was finally getting reviewed for the "Sheep and Goats" article in the San Diego Reader (this is a weekly article written trying to accurately represent your church, they are usually positive and fair.) I new this would occur sooner or later, and I wasn't looking forward to it...it seems odd to me to review our Sunday service when because we emphasize our home churches, and living as the church over going to church. But there he sat, front row, taking copious notes, snapping pictures and every once in awhile, pushing record. After the service, he approached me and identified his self. He took my mug shot and asked a few questions. Other than the closing question of "what do you believe happens to people when they die?" (and the answer of having a funeral was not what he was looking for), it was all really fine, and I'm sure his write up will be generous.

(heres the link to the article: sheep and goats)

but it did get me thinking. Church is not to be written about, but experienced...lived. No matter how well someone writes, I would much rather you experience Citywalk than read about it. Then that night, Jorge made a great observation. He mentioned how he believed that God most often uses people to draw other people to him. In other words, It is people who either help people to God or turn people from God. And I agree with Jorge. He then said a few words about the responsibility that he feels to live in a way that helps people to God. And I agree with Jorge. But that got me thinking.

Why don't I talk more about God, Jesus and the church? I do work hard to live in a way that helps people to God, but maybe I could do more. I hear people talking about things they like all the time. New movies, sports, TV, restaurants and a bunch of the junk that we buy...we are always talking of such things, and inviting others into those things.

I guess I want (and I want others to want) to engage others and invite others into my experiences. To my home church. To the worship event. To community projects. To the way of Jesus. And I really want them to come, to participate and experience what I (we) value. If Jorge is right, and I think he is, it will take this sort of effort, this intentional invitation, for others to check out the Walk.

Where ever you are (spiritually and geographically), I hope you will help me.

2007-10-23T11:30:00.000-07:00

Minority moments

I'm 35 years old. White. Heterosexual. Married. Middle class. College educated. Normal. I don't find myself out on the extreme of anything, really. I'm not outcast or finding myself in the margins. I don't get too excited to admit it, but I'm a fairly average, middle of the pack, regular kind of guy.

It's usually people like me that have segregated, outcast and marginalized others so it was weird for me to have my "own" people turn on me. I experienced a minority moment. What it felt like to be the only "different" one in a crowd. To be looked at, looked down at. To want to cave in just to fit in.

Keeping details to a minimum...It was decided to place the winter (which means temporary) tent homeless shelter just 2 blocks from where I live. The chosen location is in the center of East Village, our rapidly redeveloping downtown neighborhood. While I agree that the chosen location is not great, the homeless tent will be far less attractive than the lynch mob mentality of the 75 people that showed up at a meeting to voice their complaints. It was a meeting full of anger. Where most struggled to even identify a homeless person as human. And while most there shared this feeling, I stood in the back very dissapointed with my neighbors with the phrase, "shame on us" running through my mind.

Could it be that I am the only one that feels differently about this (I found out later that at least one other felt similar), well I wasn't about to speak out publicly for fear of my life. What I have learned, or maybe been reminded of, is that most of us really want to help and make a difference in our world as long as it doesn't affect us. But as soon as the issue is in my backyard...
But then these fires started burning up all of San Diego, a problem in our cities backyard. A problem each of us is having to deal with (Even now as I sit in a coffee shop typing, many miles from the fire, ashes are floating across the front of my computer screen). And many are chipping in to make a difference, to help, volunteer, donate, pray. I am anything but dissapointed with my neighbors this week. Why will we help in the wake of a tragic fire, but not step in and help the homeless? Why such different attitudes from the same people? I'm sure you have opinions, so I won't share mine.

What I keep thinking about is why didn't I speak up at the meeting. Why did I wait? Although one friend said it would have been like telling an alcoholic to sober up when he is wasted (point taken), I still could have spoken. I often sense this need to express my different opinion, my prophetic voice (I will answer what this is on Wednesday) if you will.

But it can be hard. Hard to speak up. Hard to speak my mind. Hard to intentionally stick myself out there. So often we keep quiet.

I finally spoke up. I let my "prophetic voice" out. Now I wait for reaction, response, and the difference it may make (hopefully good).

It's hard to focus and think much these days beyond what is going on with our city. The fires, the evacuations, the hundreds of destroyed homes. Many people continue to ask what we might do. I trust you will do what you can, when you can. I also want to encourage you to pray, believing it will help bring an end to the destruction and comfort to the hurting.

2007-10-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

A quote:
My thoughts on atonement today are not mine at all, this entire entry are words by Scot Mcknight:

The first understanding of Jesus is a complex story of both personal redemption and ecclesial (church) recreation: it is the story of liberation from sin and oppression so God's people can live in the new community just as they were designed by God to live. Jesus' mission to establish the kingdom, a society in which God's will would be done, is why he dies. He understands his death as the atoning work of God to create a society , an ecclesial community, in which God's will could be done. He came to liberate his people from their sins and the world's unjust systems. He accomplishes that liberation by entering into enemy territory (sin and enslavement), by being captured to the point of death instead of and for the benefit of others, and by escaping from that captivity through the resurrection.

This begins to get at the heart, the point and the purpose of atonement...and it's much more than just a theory...or something to believe.

So just what is it, and what does it mean to live it?

See you next Thursday!

2007-10-17T11:42:00.000-07:00

Do I get Starstruck?
I don't get too worked up over meeting famous people. I'm not into autographs or pictures of celebrities. It's just not that big of a deal to me. Last weekend reminded me of that.

Not that either of these people have tremendous celebrity status, but they do have a following and when they are in a room, they are the stars...the ones who people want to meet and talk to.

On Friday night I was at the house of Blues to see David Crowder. It was a great show and when it was over I went home...no need to stick around to meet Mr. Crowder. On Sunday I attended a Q&A with Brian Mclaren discussing his new book and any other questions we may have for him. When it ended, I stuck around to talk with people, and while I stood a few feet from Brian, I didn't really even meet him, we just exchanged a few words as we were leaving (you know, like thanks and goodbye). I simply do not get starstruck.

But something struck me about these two "stars." On one hand it wasn't so much what they communicated but the demeanor in which they communicated...humbly, passionately. David didn't just want us to sing, he wanted us to live like we sang. He wanted us to take the lyrics and the enthusiasm with which we sang them and take them to the streets and live them. The concert was more than a production, it was a catalyst for us to make a difference. Brian was the same. It wasn't just about his book or his ideas, it was about learning together and actively living out what we are learning and believing. These guys aren't stars for their music or books, but for how they live and promote the message we find in them. These are people I like to meet.

I guess by the end of the weekend I was a little struck.

2007-10-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

Don't just sit there...
I'm sitting in my office, typing, that's it. While I sit here comfortably, I hope the next few words will serve as a nudge for you to get up and take action. Today is blog action day, a day where bloggers around the globe unite, and all speak (through their keyboards) on one issue. This year the topic for blog action day is the environment. So here I sit wearing my 2007 earth day t-shirt getting ready to take action by writing a blog about the environment.

My t-shirt is white with a giant blue question mark on the front, the period of the question mark is a picture of the earth. People often ask me what the shirt means...thing is, I don't really know so I make up various things depending on the mood I'm in and how much I want to offend someone. Every time I wear this shirt I wonder what response people will have, what will they think of me (or how might I be labeled) and how much longer. How much longer? How much longer will we continue to talk and blog about the environment before we each start doing something. That's what the question mark asks me, in other words, what is the environmental impact of my life and what am I doing about it? I'm sure the impact is large, but what I am doing about it is small.

I've noticed that many of my friends (and me) are quick to point fingers. We look at large organizations, and any/everything else that might make media coverage, and shake our heads at how these people are destroying our planet...they really need to do something about it we say. Then I see a reflection of my t-shirt in the mirror.

As much as we talk about saving the environment, many if not most of the people I know do little about it. I'd buy a hybrid car but...I'd recycle but...I'd only purchase fair trade but...I'd research before buying clothes but...get all these butts together and they begin to stink.

I know it's expensive, time consuming and inconvenient to be environmentally friendly, hey, it probably is for all those people we point fingers at too. I'm not asking you to buy a new car, but let's do something, anything, even if we think its small and really isn't making a difference. And when we do, and when the big players do, lets applaud the efforts of each other, rather than quickly conclude that more could be done.

Now that I'm down here at the bottom of this post, I really must add one more thing. Christians, people who claim to follow God in the way of Jesus, ought to be leading the way in these efforts. For too long we have embraced the idea that we will all die and go to a better place (heaven) so this current place (earth) doesn't really matter. You may not express it so bluntly with words, but you don't need to. If Christians are going to really be considered worthwhile in our world today, I suggest we need to continue helping each other spiritually, but we must also care about the physical and the global issues.

Okay, no more blogging time to take action before this day is over.

2007-10-11T11:44:00.000-07:00

If you have been following the last couple posts in this section, you know we are talking about the theological concept of atonement. This issue is one I think about more than most, it's confusing, frustrating and often seems so incomplete. It's also at the heart of basically everything of what it means to be a Christian, so I want answers (well, pursue answers at least). Answers to what it means to be human, what is sin, why did Jesus have to die only to rise again, how does this satisfy my sin, our sin and evil, what does it mean to now live in light of this.

Moreover, how might atonement look different to different people. If we are generically human, we may end up with a generic idea of atonement, but as we all know, we are not generic, we are unique individuals with radically diverse backgrounds so a generic understanding of atonement will not do.
What does atonement mean for a white male suburban kid whose parents are wealthy, and whose needs have been met, for the Mexican American female immigrant, for the kids in Africa whose parents have died of aids, for healthy people, sick people, disabled people, rich people and poor people. And even if the red and yellow black and white are all precious in his sight (and brown), we would be fools to approach each person in the same exact generic way.

I've noticed something. I grew up hearing that salvation, atonement was all about Jesus paying the penalty for my sin. Sometime during my early college days, a well known pastor and college president wrote a book about making Jesus Lord. This stirred controversy. Do we believe in Jesus or must we also make him Lord? Now, many who are around my age seem not care about either, and are much more interested in the idea of the Kingdom of God and the mission of Christ. I am one who appreciates this emphasis, but it is not wise to abandon other important things as we take on this "new" emphasis.

See, to me it seems that atonement is about all of these things, for everyone. Depending on our uniqueness, we may enter at different points and in fact may never consider some things (I may never really think about freedom from oppression for me while others may look mostly to this) and this needs to be okay (Just don't try to make your emphasis fit on me). Along the way, I confess that their was an Adam and he did sin. This sin started a cycle of death. That cycle was stopped at the cross with Jesus. But this "moment" of atonement did not end here. There was resurrection, another moment. The cross ended death, resurrection welcomes new life. As an aside, us Kingdom emphasizers would do well to remember that the death and resurrection of Jesus will always be an integral part of our story...don't leave it out (just as we cannot stop at death and payment of sins...there is no good news without new life). There is also pentecost, and the church and so on.

I'm going to stop here because I think I've made a mess of what I'm trying to say. So I publish with reservations but I will continue to pursue what lies at the heart of being a God followe... living in light of the atonement.

2007-10-10T10:14:00.000-07:00

Choose a club: A golfers answer to no specific question
I am not a golfer. My dad golfs. My brothers golf. Many of my friends golf. And I have hit the ball around before, but I am no golfer. So most things about golf I am unqualified to write about, but this one thing I know, if you are going to golf you must have clubs. The first few times I golfed, I used only 3 clubs, a seven iron, wedge and putter. The more I golfed, the more I realized how helpful it was to have more clubs in the bag, clubs that were better suited to certain situations. One of the challenges of golf for me is determining which club to use at any given time. Some tee shots I use the driver, some an iron. In the fairway it's usually an iron (but not always) but I must choose between the 5 and 7...I have better luck with the 7 but if I hit the 5, it will go further. And around the green is another story.

The point is that when golfing I lug around an entire set of clubs for a reason, and I am learning how to select the right club at the right time. I can't imagine returning to the golf course now with just 3 clubs. The thing I've noticed, is when we are asked questions often hard questions, we answer as if we have just one club in the bag...the same club, same swing, same everything regardless of the situation.

I am often asked my position on what could be considered "in the sand trap" or "out of bounds" issues (challenging things)...things like pre-marital sex and homosexuality, issues of faith, evil and theology, things globally such as the war, poverty and environmentalism and what any of us can do about it and many many more.

I guess I could enter into every conversation with only my driver, and swing away hoping to send the ball as far as I could...but then, maybe that is why so many seem to be driven so far from church. I guess I have a question. Could it be that when we talk with others, that we would do well to consider what clubs are in the bag, and learn to play the right club in the right situation? As I type, I can hear you thinking...but the Bible sets a standard and pre-marital sex and homosexuality are sin....If we don't take a strong position on the Bible/heaven/hell/baptism/Trinity etc. we are sure to join the countless others on the slippery slope.

I am not suggesting that we don't have convictions or beliefs, what I am hoping for is that we learn to choose the right club for the right time and swing accordingly (more often in the way of swinging our arms around one another in embrace, not serving a knockout blow). Sometimes we need to be confronted. Often we need to be accepted, shown love and be given patience. We need to extend grace to each other, even if we completely disagree about the dogleg up ahead. Rarely do we need to be told that what we're doing is wrong. This seldom helps do anything except build walls and turn people away. And helping each other experience the love of Christ and turn people towards Jesus is probably the best move we can make.

Every club has a use, and we must learn to use the right approach at the right time...and we must choose a club so choose well, please.

2007-10-08T14:05:00.000-07:00

UPGRADES & THE UNEXPECTED : UNDERESTIMATE & UNDERSTATEMENT

Ali and I arrived at the Denver airport at about midnight last Wednesday. We walked through the terminal, road the train, hopped on a bus and eventually made it to the rental car "place." The Colorado Rockies had eliminated my beloved Padres just two days early, but I rolled into town proudly wearing my favorite Padres apparel. After suffering some unkind words from the rental car man, he finally conceded that he could not allow a lamenting baseball fan drive around Denver for four days in the cheap car that I had reserved, and he went and found me something to cheer me up. A free upgrade. Thanks rental car man (Gilbert) for making all 468 miles I drove much more comfortable.

On Friday morning, we walked into the continental breakfast "place" at our hotel and there sat Geoff eating breakfast. I went to seminary with Geoff in Chicago, and we reconnected at a conference in Long Beach last year...we both now live in San Diego. I did not expect to see him at the hotel. I was in Denver for a wedding, Geoff for a two day conference at Denver seminary, and we ended up in the same hotel, at the same time, enjoying the same yummy hotel food.

There was a moment at Justin and Deb's wedding (a beautiful wedding bringing together catholic and protestant tradition and ministers. It was held at a new catholic church in the mountains of Conifer, Colorado, and all things were "unspeakably" breathtaking.) reception where we took a picture of all the Reno people (Ali and I may always be Reno people). It seemed to be almost everyone who wasn't family. You can't underestimate the love and bond of genuine community...something Justin and Deb had both at their old church and workplace in Reno. Cheers to Epoch and Sierra Trading Post.

The mood was quite different flying home. Of course we were sad to say goodbye to good friends and to the soul food of the mountains, but we could not deny the excitement on the plane. Saying that winning is better than losing is an understatement. The week before, the Chargers had lost their third straight and the Padres had just been eliminated from the playoffs. Earlier in the day, the Chargers handed Denver their worst loss in 40 years, and many happy bolts fans were on our plane back to SD. We set down for a few minutes in Phoenix and many more happy winners boarded the plane. The USD girls soccer team beat ASU and a San Diego adult baseball team (I'm not really sure what this team was but there was lots of them and they were happy) had just won a weekend tournament. The one hour flight home was a celebration. Mine was quiet. It was not for winning or for fancy cars. But for the people I get to share life with. People that I care deeply about. No matter where we live, we share an undeniable love for each other.

And just in case you missed it, a toast to Justin and Deb!

2007-10-03T16:36:00.000-07:00

Aging, DMV's and the bull horn

Last week at home church we watched and discussed the nooma video, bull horn. It is a short film about a guy, completely disconnected from reality, no friends but big agenda...standing on a crowded street corner and shouting his evangelistic comments into a bull horn for all to hear (though none were listening).

Yesterday was my birthday...I know happy birthday. How old am I? 35. My Nevada drivers license expired on my birthday, so it was finally time to go to the DMV and get my California license (something I was supposed to do within 10 days of moving into the state). This would be the perfect time to avoid the procrastination speech you may be inclined to give.

So there I was, standing outside the DMV at 7am (1 hour before they opened and already #30 something in line) on my birthday. I was studying for the written exam I was about to take, again feel free to avoid any discussion of procrastination, when guess who showed up. You got it, bull horn man.

It was actually bull horn two men and one lady. They were younger, hipper and obviously had friends, but they were still bull horn people. There are few things I like about bull horn people, but hi jacking the DMV line, a captive (or stuck) but disinterested audience that included me and on my birthday. One of the best gifts I received that day was actually going inside the DMV where I could no longer hear them yelling at me about going to hell if I didn't accept Jesus. The hardest part of the day was when, in close earshot of bull horn, the DMV lady asked my profession. I desperately wanted to say ear plug manufacturer.

It's weird, the older I get the more patient I have become with the DMV and less patient with Mr and Mrs bullhorn. Just because I'm getting older doesn't mean you have to yell.

2007-09-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

More than the magic in Harry Potter or the xxx of The DaVini Code, McKnights, A community called atonement captures ones attention ignites our imaginations. And not just into the mystical or to Mary and the Chalice, but straight into the heart of God. A theology book does this. As it should. But enough book reviewing, on to atonement chatter. Almost.

I confess that I approach this conversation carefully because I am walking in the land of (theological) giants. I choose to join them but am also very well aware of lacking qualifications. But then, who is (or perhaps isn’t) qualified to pursue and speak of the things of God…theology. Onward.

Where we begin shapes where we end up. My (theological) upbringing was shaped around (began with) me being a sinner. This of course ends up with the “penal substitution” theory of Atonement, that God being holy cannot ignore human sin so there must be punishment. Jesus paid the price of that sin for me and I’m forgiven (simply stated). I have never really disagreed with this, but for some time it has felt incomplete. Could there be other places to start from (these could include death and immortality, love and evil for example)? Where might that take us? And how may we consider the atonement if we could start from every possible place rather than just one? Hopefully, and I believe it to be, we would end up with a fuller, better, more accurate understanding of the gospel (good news for real this time) and a faith that really transformed life…one that we would count as helpful and meaningful.

And this cannot be done in isolation. It must come in community. The gospel is meant for families, for friends and for entire communities. It may be that atonement is about creating communities of faith wherein God’s will is done and lived out. This isn’t the entire story of atonement, but part of the story is about the community of faith and how we carry on the mission of God.

It is in discussions such as these that I cannot help but wonder about salvation. What are we saved from, to and for? Answers only including heaven and hell are inadequate. Salvation must include a here and now and a there and then element. It is about life and about life after. Therefore (and certainly for many more reasons the giants would bring up), we would do well in our theological pursuits to consider more starting points. Being willing to expand upon our, probably too limited, perspectives/opinions/beliefs, and gain a more beautiful picture of God ourselves, this world and how it all fits together.

2007-09-26T16:07:00.000-07:00

"how's the church going?"
A question I hear often, I just wish I knew what it meant. Or maybe I should say it like this, I wish I knew what the person asking the question meant. Because depending on what the real question is behind the question, my answer will vary.

Some want to know about our attendance. Some our budget. Some our # of baptisms. Some our involvement in the community. Some about our location. Some the friendliness. Some the music. And so on.

So how is Citywalk doing...well it depends. Some will think we are struggling while others may not. The outside person watching the #'s will feel differently than the person who's life is being transformed because of their home church.

So I apologize if you've asked this question and have not received a straightforward response. I will say this, I love what we're about and what we're doing. I confess at times it feels like we're still trying to find our way, but I couldn't do it any other way. I believe in the vision and dreams of Citywalk and count it a tremendous privilege to live life (churching if you will) with others in our community.

2007-09-24T14:23:00.000-07:00

Injuries, ironies and I shouldn't care:

injuries:
I had just finished working out. I was tired. I needed to get home. I was wearing the wrong shoes. I hadn't played in months. But as I walked by the gym, the sound of bouncing balls lured me in. Before I knew it, I found myself in a pick-up game of full court basketball with a group of lawyers on their lunch break. Although I once again proved I am no longer 25 (and am now just one week away from 35) I had a good time. Realizing I was not in basketball shape, I took it pretty easy until the end of the second game. We won the first game by one point, and found ourselves down by one in the second. My slightly competitive nature showed up and turned into a badly sprained ankle...game over. I haven't had a bad bruise or swollen body part in some time and feels good to know that you don't lose either of those abilities as you age.

ironies:
I just heard some interesting news. October 14 is Faith in Action Sunday (learn more at www.putyourfaithinaction.org). The intent, for at least one day, is for people to stop focusing on going to church and step out and live as the church. So on October 14, churches around the country are being encouraged not to have regular services, but to go out and serve. This idea of living as the church rather than just going to church is one of Citywalk's anchor points, and I find it ironic that our next service happens to be on October 14 (for those who don't know, we currently meet just once a month for a service). Oh well, as one friend suggested, there may be many Christians looking for a church service that morning.

i shouldn't care:
Sometimes when I write, I often think about how people may respond. It cripples some of my thoughts and inspires others. I don't want to care. Not that I don't care, I just don't want to allow caring to influence my writing. You may agree or disagree with things I think, feel or say. And to that I say great. If what I write is compelling you to think...well that's what I care about.

So go ahead and miss a church service, pick up a ball and bruise up an ankle and don't worry what others might say (but you should ice, compress and elevate).

2007-09-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

The bathtub in our guest bathroom rarely gets used. Until this week. I noticed, while using another bathroom amenity, that a spider has taken up residence in the tub. It has been there all week and probably thankful for the lack of use by me. When things are not used for sometime, they are forgotten, become useless or used by and for something not originally intended. Before long we may wonder if the tub has any value or if it works. Perhaps the only way to find out is to hop in, turn the water on and wash the spider down the drain (or pick it up and gently place it outside).

I am not going to jump into the tub, but I am going to dive head first into a topic that probably needs to be cleaned up, washing the filthy (wrong) parts down the drain and hopefully uncovering some beauty.

Atonement.

The good news of Christianity, our gospel, is that through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God really did atone for our sins. Of course, as with all beliefs there are several views of atonement theology. Some lean heavily on the Christus Victor theme, a belief that on the cross Jesus has won the victory over the powers of evil. Some focus more on the "personal" aspect of atonement, referring the judicial or penal elements. For now, the particular views are not what matter, for something more significant bothers me.

While the atonement offers good news, it finds itself in the company of bad news. The bad news, maybe more a question, is does atonement (any theory) work? In other words, does forgiveness of sins, the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, this reconciled relationship with God, the atonement...does it really transform the individual? Are Christians any better? Any different? Than before the effect of atonement.

To this I say the answer must be yes. At least the possibility. The atonement ought to make a difference in the here and now. And it can. Whether it has or not in the past, and how it might now and onward are things to be discussed here. Just not today.

(ideas for this post stream are influenced by N.T. Wrights, Evil and the Justice of God and Scot Mcknights, A Community Called Atonement)

2007-09-20T10:25:00.000-07:00

Following Monday's post, maybe the most important question at hand is how is Paul doing? It seems that he has made it past the most critical stage but they are keeping him in the cardiac critical care unit of the hospital to be safe.

On Monday night, I was told he was watching Monday night football...a good sign of normalcy. I was also told that he mentioned to his daughter that he wanted to "go home." She replied, "I think Jesus is in charge of that," to which Paul quickly responded, "Not that home!"

Thanks so much for praying. In the spirit of James chapter 5, I believe your words spoken to God have been powerful and effective.

2007-09-17T19:05:00.000-07:00

Not what I expected:

I don't usually go to bars, there's just not much that takes place at them that I enjoy. But on Friday Ali and I went with some friends to Altitude, a roof top bar downtown...I loved it! Besides the company, the DJ was playing good music, there were several projection TV's showing extreme sports and we watched from way above, the Padres win in extra innings.

I was excited about Saturday. We had plans to go watch the thunderboats in Mission Bay, then to the ASR tour at Belmont Park to see the skate vert competition and then back to a bar to watch the USC game. The boats were okay, we missed the skate competition and USC completely dominated (okay, I expected this last one).

After our (Ali and me) regular Sunday morning coffee and Bible time, I went to Balboa park to watch the Velodrome races. I had no expectations, but I was surprised that something so cool was so poorly attended. Even if you don't like bikes, you need to check this out some time. After the races we had a great afternoon with friends eating food and attending the Padres game. The Padres completed a sweep over the Giants, but the day ended with the Chargers losing badly.

So where does all this lead? You never know how things might go. As much as you look forward to something, it may not live up to the hype. Expectations, usually unmet expectations, have a lot of power over our emotions. And sometimes, something unexpected can change your life.

This morning while talking with my mom on the phone, she told me that a long time family friend had a massive heart attack over the weekend and the doctors are not sure if he, Paul, will live. This came out of nowhere to me. Paul is a good friend, and is one of those people in my life that I have always looked up to. Paul has been a big influencer and encourager to me. Paul is the ultimate example of servanthood. Things are uncertain for Paul, whether he will pull through or not, so here is my expectation.

I expect the readers of this blog to stop reading right now and pray, plead with God for the life and full recover for Paul.

Somethings make boats, skates and sports seem so insignificant...and we should expect the life of another to do that.

2007-09-13T16:47:00.001-07:00

For God: John 3:16

On Sunday, September 9^th at the Citywalk service, I spoke on these first two words of John 3:16…For God. The take away of my message was that we should consider the first things first, getting right that this grand story of life that we find ourselves in stars God as the main character. Each of us has a place, even a significant role in the story, but we are not the lead role or main attraction (although many of us have a tendency to draw as much attention as possible to ourselves).

Since Sunday, a few things have troubled me. While few sermons are ever exhaustive, some lack too much. Today I feel compelled to make some additions to my previous words about the place God has in our lives.

I am not talking about making God a priority. We prioritize things like work, exercise, hobbies and the like…in my opinion, God should not find himself on a list like this (or any list for that matter). God is not in the same category of say, our jobs. It would be quite odd, yet common, to keep placing God on the top of our priority list in the morning only to have him knocked off at some point during the day due to some pressing issue or concern, then lay in bed at night sensing the need to re-prioritize. This is a game I would rather not play or invite others into. Rather than prioritize God, it may make more sense to consider our priorities in light of our love for God. He is not on the list, but all things on the list should be wrapped up in the perspective of a Godlife.
While I think it’s important to get first things right first, it may not be absolutely necessary. I do believe we will struggle with much of our understanding to the truth of the gospel if we do not first get that its not all about me. Making God in our image, or fitting him into our desires/wants, or God being my co-pilot concept as the bumper sticker proclaims…well these views will not do. There is a personal redemptive quality to the atonement (atonement theories are many, I’ll say more on them another day), but the atonement, or work of the Christ on the cross was not just to “save” “me.”

But even if we don’t get all this right first, not all is lost. In fact, I could think of many friends where this (God in his right place, but not as a priority) came some time later in their journey of faith. So let me encourage you, if you are seeking truth and the way of Jesus, press on…even if you’re not so sure about God.

Finally, it must be possible to get many things right while getting this first thing wrong. I can imagine someone communicating brilliantly but not understanding sentence structure. I know a great piano player who doesn’t know a thing about music. And I think you can love your neighbor, serve others, pray (for example) in ways that God intended and not really get the God thing right.

Eventually, in our pursuit of truth, God, we will come to recognize that the world does not revolve around me or anyone else. When we get this first thing right, for God, other things will begin to make more sense. Things like the rest of John 3:16, that this God, whom the whole story revolves around…the star of the show, now turns his attention to me; he loved, gave, and offered life. And isn’t this what many of us work so hard to find, real love and acceptance along with a life worth living, one with purpose and fulfillment where we feel our existence is making a difference.

For God is where its at. Where it begins.

2007-09-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

Occasionally someone will ask me where I went to school. So here you go to all who care about my academic profile.

I spent my first two years at a small school called Greenbrae, but transferred for the remaining 4 years to a new school named Katherine Dunn. After completing elementary school, I attended Dilworth Middle School for two of the most memorable years of my life. I attended Reed High school to round out my required education.

I chose to stay in Reno after high school and graduated from the University of Nevada, Reno with a bachelors of science in Health Science. Two weeks after graduation, I was driving to Illinois to begin work on a Masters degree from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. I completed a Masters in religious education and returned to Reno where soon after I became a pastor.

One thing I love about school is the profound influence teachers have on our lives. From Mrs. Housby in the 3rd grade to Dr. Ortlund in seminary, I am grateful for the people that have helped me become who I am today.

2007-09-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

For Musicians, Martin pluckers and many more

Last Friday I went to the Taylor Guitar factory in El Cajon with some friends for a free tour. Usually the word "tour" does very little for me (unless the words "de France" come next) and being that it was free...well lets just say I was looking forward to spending some time with my friends.

Although the time with my friends was good, the tour was great. You don't have to be a musician, or know anything about guitars, this tour should find itself on the "must do" list for anyone who visits San Diego (if there is such a list). From stacks of acclimating wood and rough carpentry to inlays and laser cutting we got an up close and personal look at how 300 Taylor guitars are made each day. We even got to walk away with handfuls of coasters...the cut-outs from the guitar soundholes.

One of the things that stuck out to me while watching some of the 500 employees work, was seeing the tension between artistry and assembly line. Some jobs were quite brainless, mundane and well...looked boring. Other positions seemed to be more artistic, precise and well...exciting. And all these jobs working together resulted in the worlds finest guitars, Taylor.

Life seems like this to me. Some things seem assembly line-ish, or ritualistic. People talk about going through the motions, and not being able to wait for the weekend. Other things seem more artistic or spontaneous, and we are often inspired by such moments. Maybe it is through all experiences of life, that something beautiful is crafted and shaped. A work of God, literally. Maybe.

2007-09-06T16:53:00.000-07:00

I just received this question by email this morning from a friend:

I wanted to ask your opinion, I hope you don't mind. Is there any way to have a great worship team who does a great job with the music and the energy and a true passion to please God, and have a congregation that loves the music, has great worship yet gets the impression that you are putting on a Christian rock concert each week and not truly leading the crowd into a personal worship time?

Here is part of my response:

The short answer to your question is, I believe its possible but not probable. At least not in the American model mega-church. This model focuses on excellence and attendance…and those things, even if unintentional often come across like big production. One other thought. All of us Christians would do well to think more deeply about your statement, “congregation that has great worship.” Great worship and great music are not synonymous. What is at the heart of great worship? What really matters? Whose “job” is it to help us get there? If all of us in attendance on Sunday morning would rethink such things, it would probably take some unnecessary pressure off of the band. Just a thought.

There is of course much more that could be said, so I will say more in my next “God” blog.

2007-09-04T11:07:00.000-07:00

There's nothing I like more...
Before I go any further, I confess that there are many things I like more than what I am about to say. This is just how I felt like saying it, so don't feel the need to ask if this is really what I like the most...but it was great!

There's nothing I like more (see above comments) than watching the Padres beat up on the Dodgers. Diving catches in the outfield. A grand slam. A lopsided final score. Such was the case in Saturdays game. The park was sold out. Our view of homeplate was obstructed, as in we could not see it, by the foul pole. The crowd was hostile. The perfect setting for a night of baseball (except for the obstructed view thing). I especially like it when the sometimes reserved Padres fans chant "beat LA" at ear damaging decibels. It is pretty incredible to me how something as simple as a baseball game, can bring thousands of people together. People who would probably never hang out, not even acknowledge each others existence. People who probably wouldn't get along. People who don't even like each other. But put them in a stadium, dress them in the Friars latest and greatest apparel, bring the next batter to the plate...and this most unexpected group of people come together.

The interesting thing this night, was how this same thing can also become destructively divisive. There may be just one stadium, but there are two teams. Just as the Padres bring their faithful together, so do the Dodgers. And as much as we cheer for our team, cheers against the opposing team often seem more passionate. If it stopped here, there wouldn't be much for me to say. It's sports you say, competition. We want our team to win, and the other team to lose so we cheer accordingly.

What stood out above other things Saturday night was how personal this all becomes. Not only does that Dodger fan love his team, he hates the Padres. Not only does he hate the Padres, he hates the Padres fans. Not only does he hate Padres "fans," he hates specific fans, the ones sitting in his section. And so it goes for the Padres fans too.

One could make a case that this is just part of the game, or that it is the large amount of alcohol consumption at work. But does that make it any more appropriate. Make what more appropriate? The onslaught of "F" bombs from fan to fan. The fighting. The need for dozens of cops and security to escort out of the stadium a large group from both sides who just couldn't get along, to the point of assault and battery. I began to notice that much of the cheering in the section next to where I was seated was not cheering at all, nor was it even directed at the game. Rather, fans were yelling at each other, not so much in support of their team as much as it seemed that they just wanted to yell at someone, maybe even hate someone, who was not in support of their team. If you're not for the same thing I'm for, than I'm against you so it seems.

Sadly, this doesn't only happen at baseball games.

2007-08-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

A thought on church...
If you build it, they will come...so say some. When speaking of church, it seems to work. When my church in Reno built its first building, the attendance doubled grand opening weekend. There was a second large growth spurt when we completed the second phase.

A couple of years ago, I was speaking to a realtor who lived in Orange County. She told me that she attended Mariners church in Newport Beach (Mariners is a huge church and had just completed a massive building project). I asked why she chose Mariners and she simply stated, "it's the nicest church in town." You can't expect people who live in multi-million dollar homes to attend a shabby church she asserted. We have nice homes (inside and out), cars, home theaters and so on, and we want to feel at home (comfortable) when we go to church. This is no secret, pastors and architects know this so they design and build to please.

On one level this makes sense. I'm not suggesting its good or right, it just makes sense. I don't go looking for the worst of things. I don't really like mediocre. And I'm prone to upgrade like the rest of you. But there is another level (if not many other levels) at where this is troublesome. Should the church build the best that money can buy? Should people be telling others that they attend because its the best church in town? Should we be surprised, or even impressed, at what millions of dollars can achieve in church architecture?

And I have another problem. When something is the best, most popular and trendy, it seems that nearly all of us want in. Sure, some probably still use a typewriter, have a cord on the phone and carry a boombox on their shoulder, but most have determined there is something better. And it's not just a computer, but a mac or Dell, it's the iphone and ipod. And its not the old ipod but the newer video one that we all "have" to have. But when it comes to church, it doesn't really work.

I said build it and they will come, but will they really come? A church may double, but there are still many more people not coming than are. And if a particular church really is the best...the upgraded model, how come we all don't go? Instead, few attend (relative to a cities population). I'm not sure how much big new buildings and fancy everything really impress people when considering church. Of course they attract many people who attend other churches close by, people who see the construction, read the newspaper articles and receive the flyers...people who decide they want a new model (I wonder how many small churches close when one mega church opens?), but I'm not convinced that the millions of dollars put into structures is the way forward for the kingdom and message of God.

At the heart of it, I want to (and I want others to) be in love with the Creator God and speak passionately about him and what it means to have life in Jesus, the Christ. Forget about all the talk about the building.

2007-08-29T17:16:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been to ___ church?

I don’t visit many churches. For the most part, I don’t see the point. I’m more interested in 1) what goes on behind the scenes and 2) observing the difference the church is making, than I am sitting in on a Sunday service. Still, the question comes up often. And when it does, it seems the list of churches is always the same. It was no different when I lived in Reno, and it is probably similar in any American city.

People always ask about the biggest churches, the emerging, postmodern, young adult or hip churches, the unusual or “different” church and then usually there is a new church thrown in probably because their name has been all over banners, flyers and direct mail. I’m never sure what’s behind the question, but I usually assume people want to know if I liked it. Of course, this is problematic. Did I like what? Did I like the speaking, music, lighting, video, building, ambiance etc.? Are these the things that really matter? But what else could possibly be evaluated on a single visit? And what difference does my opinion make anyway? I don’t visit many churches (there is a deeper reason behind this, the belief that church is something to be lived rather than attended, but I’ll write about that some other time).

But for those who won’t quit asking, I have not yet been to The Flood. I have been to Mission Gathering and there was a guest speaker, whom I “liked” very much. I have been to the Rock, but it was the old building. They just opened their new building in Point Loma and had their first service last Sunday. So I know it’s coming, “have you been to The Rocks new building yet?” (There was an article in Monday’s paper about The Rock’s new building, describing it’s 54 million dollar facility, 3,500 seat sanctuary, Barnes & Noble size bookstore and fully operational coffee shop, as well as the full school and NFL type turf play field. It’s probably amazing; I’ll probably like it. But. More in tomorrows blog).

If you are part of a church, I hope you like it. I hope you know what makes it tick. I hope you are involved in making a difference the other 6 days of the week. If you are not part of a church, I hope you will visit some and choose one. One you like, inside and out. One where you can make a difference. And, if you are a part of, or ever visit Citywalk, I hope you like it!

2007-08-29T14:56:00.000-07:00

Pop the hood:

Last week just as I got on the 163 North (probably going to Chipotle for lunch) I saw a southbound driver pop his hood...accidentally. He was driving on the Freeway, when his hood unlatched, flew open and crashed onto the roof of his car. I did not see what happened next, going the opposite direction and all, but my mind went immediately to the time this happened to me.

I was in high school. I owned a small convertible, and although I loved the car it really was a pile of dung. A friend and I were driving together (top down) when the hood of my car flew open, hit the windshield, bent backwards and came to a halt at the palm of our hands. We pulled over safely, bent the hood back down, re-latched it and went on our way. Rather than replacing my hood, I left it on the car for the remainder of my senior year of high school. It became my year book. People took the liberty to sign (scratch) messages, thoughts and obscenities into the hood. It became a work of art. In fact, when I decided to sell the car, I bought a new hood just so I could keep the old one, where it hung in my parents garage for some time to come.

Although I'm tempted to make a point... like how a crappy car can create great memories or how a bad event can bring people together. Or how witnessing an event can bring us back to a time in our past. Or maybe how we could all do well to "check under" our personal hoods, but there is an appropriate time and place... I won't.

2007-08-25T13:40:00.001-07:00

Each Wednesday I will give my perspective (answer)
to the questions I most often get asked.

To ask me questions

2007-08-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

Don't judge me. Don't read more into this than is there. It was just a moment for me that I want to share. I was driving to a doctor appointment this morning on University and found this 15 seconds of visual amusing. I laughed, snapped the pictures and pass them on to you.

First, this banner is an ad for Universal, San Diego's first omnisexual lounge. The guy seems as confused about what that means as I did.

Right next to Universal, construction is underway for this, San Diego's first canine country club.

After passing by these two projects, I came to the intersection that I needed to turn at, and noticed the street name.

2007-07-17T11:30:00.000-07:00

3 Things

1. I might become famous. Last week while packing the car to get ready for my road trip, I was asked to take a picture. Normally, this means someone wants me to take a picture of them...not this time. This guy walking down the street saw me loading the car and he wanted to take a picture of me. He said he was from Russia and he wanted a picture of an American. I am no poster boy for America, but I did pose politely with Ali as this kind tourist snapped the picture and went on his way. I wonder what conversations will emerge when he returns to Russia and his friends see the picture of me. I mostly hope I don't find my head photo shopped on to someone else's naked body with a caption reading, "Citywalk pastor spotted naked in downtown San Diego."

Next time you travel, please take a picture of some random local and bring it back to show me.

2. After my paparazzi experience, I went to OB for our teams final night of volleyball. Although we had a lot of fun this season, our team didn't do real well so I was a bit nervous about the nights big tournament. We quickly lost our first game of the double elimination playoffs and found ourselves in the losers bracket. And in my estimation, even though we won our next 3 games, we were losers that night. Our first loss came to a team that did not play by the rules, and we were upset losing to a team of cheaters (notice the lingering bitterness). Later in the evening, we faced the team again and took much joy in beating them badly. In addition to working very hard for our redemptive victory, we made sure things were fair, right and by the rules. We voiced loudly our complaints. We showed our pride. We hid our sportsmanship. We won the game. But we also lost.

3. I competed in a bike race over the weekend. I crashed very hard 3 times, damaging both me and my bike. I did not finish well and even lost to my brother whose single goal was to beat me. And it was all worth it.

2007-06-05T16:30:00.001-07:00

CAN WE DO ANY BETTER?

The other day I saw several of these little cars cruising the streets around the corner from where I live. The people were laughing and having fun as they maneuvered their grown-up big wheels...it made me feel good to see people enjoying themselves.

Inevitably, I began processing the scene from the eyes of my pastorhood, sorry, I can't help it.

Has the church offered more to our world than a cheap and entertaining way to navigate life? These cars look fun, but the excitement must wane within minutes. Probably not something I would do more than once. Although they do move people, they are slow, small and a general nuisance to others on the road. They are out of place. They do get attention from outsiders, but usually wisecracks and smirks (data collected and observed personally).

If you know me at all, these sort of parallels often associated with the church, are completely unacceptable. The church must (and is in many ways around the world) offer more than a cheap and fun way to get through life. We must not attempt just to move people from "here" to "there." We must no longer be a nuisance to others. The church must be helpful...meaningful. If it is not, then it is out of place. Or more, it has no place and deserves the ridicule it often receives.

One of the strongest driving forces in life for me is to see the churches existence become meaninful for those who consider it worthless. If it does not, it may not last much longer than these little cars.

Disclaimer:
I think the go car is a brilliant idea and wish it nothing but success. As for the church, I am thrilled to hear everyday about people who feel as I do and are working hard to do something about it. I have never been more encouraged about the future of God's people, the church.