Sometimes I get quiet

By Steve

It's just how I am, sometimes I get quiet. I don't mean to, I often don't have a good reason, and truthfully, nothing is wrong...I just don't always feel like talking. At least not outloud. And not because I don't have anything nice to say (although much of what I say comes out wrong). My mind is always working, and even in my quietest times, I still hold the most incredible conversations with myself.

I've been quiet lately. Life has been busy and loud, but I've been pretty quiet. Not too many conversations, no writing...little talking. It's just how I am. But something always breaks the silence.

Or two, or three, or four things.

I've really been wanting to talk about the adoption process Madonna has been going through, and the court's recent denial of her request. The process in Malawi is very similar to the process we recently completed in Uganda with Perez. There are many fascinating things to this story, but in the end, I bet the judge changes his mind and Madonna comes home with another child.

I would love to write about maintaining and growing in our faith. I recently had a few short conversations about this, but because I haven't been talking much lately, there is much more to say.

I would like to talk about Easter, but I will direct you to someone elses writing...they could be mine (and if you don't have much more time, spend your time reading from the link before finishing this page).

It would be great to speak about recent trajedies, earthquakes in Italy, shootings in New York, a young girl found dead in a suit case in Tracey...certainly things worthy of conversation...with God.

I'd like to tell you what's going on in my family, our church, our work in Africa and recent trips I will be taking.

But none of these things compelled me to break the silence.

Last night, I curled up on the couch for a moment to watch a bit of the NCAA championship game (hoping for more excitement than the loss handed to our home town Padres just moments earlier). Unfortunately, that would not be the case. Minutes into the game, UNC jumped out in the lead and never looked back. In frustration I spoke (I should have remained quiet), "This game sucks." To which Ali quickly responded, "Perez, don't you ever repeat that." Perez, tuned into lego building had not heard my comment, but Ali made sure he knew I said something "bad."

Perez looked at me with sad eyes for 15 seconds then began. "That's a bad pastor dad. Pastors no say bad things. Pastors love Jesus and don't talk like that." He was on a roll, and I was a bit surprised that he didn't quote Ephesians 4:29, "Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up." But he stopped short of that. He had spoken his mind. Said what needed to be said. He pulled out the "pastor card," used it effectively. And went back to his legos.

That my reading friends, got me thinking. I need to "keep talking." There are things to be said. Good things. Things others speak badly about. Things that others, myself included, keep silent about.

And so it is, after many weeks of silence, I speak again. As my friend Matthew and I were speaking about this morning, sometimes to get out of one situation, you just need to start something else. Sounds simple, but it can be tough as we all know.

One can't always make himself:
Pray if they feel far from God
Exercise if they feel unfit
or speak if they feel quiet

But that is what we (I) need to do. Start talking again. As I write, I wonder if there is something you're pretty sure you need to do, but just haven't gotten around to it. It could be simple, like cleaning your room. It could be relational, like forgiving a friend or fixing dinner for another. It could be faith related, like prayer, or church. It could be anything.

Though I'm only now, right at this moment, practicing what I preach as I break my silence...might I suggest that you do the same and get after whatever it is that is on your heart and mind to do (things I believe are placed there by God).

And if you do something, why don't you drop a comment and tell me about it. It would encourage me as I come out of my silent time.